Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
A flash from his battle axe lighted the cavern as :PFuzzbox picked himself up off the floor. Clutching his axe at his side, his other hand opening and closing in rage the image of Crazy Dan being brutalized, subjected to the Brainkin's tortures flashes through his mind. CrazyDan had been the one that had given him hope, he could not let this be the end. "Where is your partner, at least he had more meat on his bones" laughed the creature taunting the small dwarf. "Creature, listen good don't toy with me like some scrawny, pathetic little girl that has never been trained in the art of war."
At this the two combatants went after each other knowing that this would be a battle to the blood. During the first few blows :PFuzzbox decided he had better concentrate more on defense. The guardian was quick as well as powerfull he had only narrowly excaped death twice. The days events had already worn him down and even with the battle lust upon him the guardian had managed to get his claws on him creating a deep gash that ran all the way down his right leg causing blood to gush out upon the cavern floor. With his leg injured he would not have the speed to escape the creatures punishing blows for long it was only a matter of time.He had to find an opening and soon only a few hours remained until they notcied he was gone.
Finally seeing an opening the dwarf moved with his last bit of energy in an attempt to cleave the creatures belly open, but the ground was slippery with blood and he crashed to the ground. The Guardian kneeled over the fallen dwarf and smiled with its crooked teeth and pointed her claws to his throat. With a painful groan he realized it was retrieve the helmet or die, there was no middle ground.
He then closed his fist and hit the creature it was a killing blow to the throat. The Guardian gurgled and arched like a woman in orgasm and went limp. The creatures eyes were glazed over with a look of surprise grimaced in pain. :PFuzzbox slowly got up limped to the helmet and exclaimed "This thing better come with a blowjob."
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Edit: Made some other changes which you can probably tell. No friends at the top just links on the side. This will eliminate some picture files and make you load quicker. "That's what she said" for those of you who watch the Office. Updated WTR wallpaper to our current girls. The blog looks a little plain right now to me. So more updates may be coming.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
So I'm going to try this new little add on Blogger created that allows you to post from Word. Which shoul be pretty sweet. No more having to go back an edit all the apostrophes and other special characters. I'm still going to use html for my pictures I think, depends on how easy it is. Here is hoping it works. Guess what, that didn't work for shit! I guess it's back to editing in notpad.
I learned today while on Fark about the FBI forming a new department I thought it was a joke but apparently not it's also on the Washington Post... Well I guess it could still be a joke. The department code named on Fark as the "Porn Squad" or the Adult Anti-Obscenity Squad as it's called in the FBI will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults. Agents for the porn squad should have a stomach for the kind of material that tends to be most offensive to local juries, community standards -- along with a lustful purpose and absence of artistic merit or pretty much anything on my hard drive. Congress began funding the obscenity initiative in fiscal 2005 and specified that the FBI must devote 10 agents to adult pornography. Yes, it looks like we have won the war on terror. Now the war on porn begins. I have chosen sides and will fight on the side of Justice, Chastity, and Jenna.
Damn those tricky stick shifts! A would be car tracker was thwarted after he ordered a 26-year-old man out of his Chevrolet Camaro in a suburban Kansas City parking lot. The driver complied, but when the robber got into the car he was unable to manage the stick shift. The car jacker apparently reads this blog and had a friend with a getaway car to help him flee the scene. I did not mention the fact that if you are going to steal something you need to be able to operate it. Live and learn.
Here is yet another liberal northerner out of touch with moral values and trying to push off her views in the heartland of America. Heartland of America? Well in this case Iowa. Yes a new law professor that relocated to Iowa University from Boston is challenging the school to the NCAA saying the pink painted visitors locker-room is quote "deeply offensive and completely unacceptable". She claims the locker room color promotes sexism and homophobia. Never mind the fact that she has never been in the locker room or to a football game. We wouldn't want the visiting gay football stars offended. I think it's absolutely hilarious and this mind fuck is genius. The pink locker room goes back to the days of former Iowa coach Hayden Fry, and has been expanded in the current renovation of the stadium -- including the carpeting, metal lockers, brick walls, sinks, and shower floor -- even the urinals. The law professor is now getting well deserved death threats. She should have realized how seriously football is taken by regular people and shut her liberal ass-mouth up.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The place to be is Detroit. That's right I said Detroit home to Kid Rock and Slim Shady this town is booming with a new influx of high class hookers. That's right these ladies are out for some easy money and a quick lay. The police have nicknamed them "Hollywood Hookers" because they dress glitzier, look hotter, and charge more. Must be a hard job working the hooker beat! The officers also say these prostitutes are smarter and less likely on drugs. With major events like the All Star Game and the Super bowl coming up these ladies of the night know where the money is and it's not in my wallet. Damn!
There is a place in football where anything goes, where players spit, punch, kick and inflict immense pain with little fear of repercussions. I'm talking about the dog pile where revenge and survival are the norm. Those who wind up in the dog pile must be prepared to hear disturbing sounds and be prepared for horrific scenes. In the pile your manhood is tested with eye-gouging, slapping, spitting, swallowing and maybe a little tickling of the anus and these are only the rumors from Jeff Garcia's dog piles.
Bring it On 3: This shit just gets nasty!In Wichita Kansas it's been broughten. That's right Bee-Otch, I said broughten! When the Dynamic Steppers drill team was challenged at their practice by the White Tigers drill team you knew it was on. As the White Tiger tried to keep their head up they knew it was a lost cause, but that doesn't mean you can't keep it real. As the frustration hit, a drummer from the White tigers viscously threw their drumstick at a drummer on the Stepper team. As the drumstick bounced of the Steppers face the dance-off turned into a brawl like never seen before in Driller history. Like any good brawl the second attack came as a punch to the face as one of Dynamic's struck a tiger. Knowing he might be outmatched the stepper then grabbed the keys to his SUV and attempted to run over some tigers while the Steppers coach, grabbed a box cutter and sliced another woman's right arm, a cut that lacerated 8 inches of muscle. Police later arrived to break up the may lay and escorted 50 people to finer lodgings. Just goes to show, where there is sexy routines there is violence and where there is violence, there's Kirsten Dunst!
West Texas Rocks is still backing Hogan in '08. Here is a pic of Hogan on the campaign trail.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Kate Moss loves drug fuelled three-in-a-bed lesbian sex sessions especially with her best friends Sadie Frost and Davinia Taylor. The model reportedly becomes wildly sexual during cocaine-fuelled parties, and has orchestrated a number of lesbian romps and a few three ways with Jude Law. That tiny peckered fucker has all the luck. Well maybe not, it's really not that hard to score with nannies and crack whores. Anyone want Lindsays number she really starting to annoy me?
More information then you needed. Morgan Freeman costars report he wears thongs.
Don't lie, you know you want Morgan freeman's goods!
Finally something useful is being down with the nation's schools. In Muncie, Indiana the abandon school was turned into a swingers club, one of only seven in the state. The new club features pool tables, a dance floor, a six-person hot tub, a multiple-person shower and sensually designed theme rooms. Klub Layden the name of the swinger hideout is now being sued by religious leaders worried about our kids. Mary Neal who rents a house across the street says "I thought it was empty, to tell you the truth", but now she is also worried about the kids, even though she has never seen any activity herself.
Some Evacuees Spend Relief Money at Houston Strip Clubs. Well isn't it relief money? What gives you more relief then a nice ass grinding against your crotch and a pair of fake tits bouncing off your face? Maybe I should have donated more strip clubs are expensive.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Also I have to be a little nerdy today, but I have faith that the people who read this blog that they can get this question right.
A computer is brought in and the customer is experiencing internet trouble. With the computer the customer brings in a piece of software called GhostSurf.
Here is what GhostSurf claims to do.
Block Ads and Popups
Prevent Identity Theft
Erase Your Tracks
Now this piece of software should allow you to answer these questions.
What is wrong with the computer?
What caused the issue?
What web surfing habits does this customer have?
Let me know your answers. I know you can do it.
Friday, September 16, 2005
When you go out to strip clubs you're stuck right out bonerville
She love to shave my body
Thursday, September 15, 2005
As I was headed back to work today when I noticed two dogs stuck together. I always thought this was funny but for some reason I didn't stop and throw rocks at the poor creatures like usual. I love watching them running in opposite directions there is just something so funny about that. Instead this time I got to thinking about evolution and how the male dogs penis gets knotted up so that the female cannot run away until the male has finished ejaculating in her. (do dogs ejaculate.) I thought that was a pretty cool way to make sure that their species continues to reproduce. And that lead me to thinking about humans and why we have opposable thumbs and maybe the reason the male has more upper body strength then the female is that that he can hold her down easier and she can not get away until after he had finished with her. I think its pretty strange that all these ideas came to me while watching two dogs fuck and get stuck together. I guess genius works in mysterious ways does anyone else have any ideas on this.
On the right, under "other links" is a link to the new thumbnail gallery of all the past GOTD. The few that have been reading from the beginning can look back at your favorites or see a few new wallpapers, while others can see past GOTD's for the first time. WTR Wallpapers
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Sure potatoes are fun, but Idaho is (insert lame ass potato related comment) for Buddha! That's right Idahoans (?) are finding inner piece by purchasing Buddha statues out of the back of a flatbed trailer. Why a flatbed trailer? Where else are you going to haul a 500lb man?
In New York Tiffany Wang and Jing Huang or suing Dr Khaled Zeitoun, whom they met on an Internet dating site, for pretending to be single and using mind games to entice them into sexual relationships with tales of past lives. Wait a second let's dissect this sentence.
- The women's names are Wang and Huang.
- He used tales of past lives to score.
Way to go Kaled Zeitron who may have found the two stupidest Asian women in New York.
Terry Bearpark of the UK heard screams and immediately went to help his elderly neighbor who was being attacked by two men. Both men turned around and stared to attack where he then hit Heath Randall in the face with a shovel. The other man fled the scene after seeing his unconscious compatriot lying on the ground like a heap of dog shit. During the robber's trial the Judge commended Mr. Bearpark, but added "I wish you'd hit him harder".
Monday, September 12, 2005
Former Monday Night sideline reporter Lisa Guerrero is posing nude for playboy. Finally a sports reporter with credibility!
Almost 1,500 men and women have stripped naked in the name of art in the French city of Lyon. This free standing fish and sausage festival must have been quite the scene with every Tom, Dick, and hairy woman in attendance.
What's that Mrs. Simpson you want me to take advantage of you?
What's that Ms. Silverton you want me to take advantage of you?
The sweet images of celebrity drunkeness!
I read today that a Police Academy 8 is now in the works. All the original characters are back! Upon reading this, these questions and thoughts came to mind.
- There was a 6 and 7?
- Didn't I see that midget lady with the annoying voice in a porno?
- Steve Guttenberg is still alive?
- Wasn't Steve Guttenberg dating one of the Olsen twins 8 years ago?
- How many lines of coke did Steve Guttenberg snort when he finally realized he was a douchebag?
- I thought we flushed the toilet that was Bobcat Goldthwaite's comedic career?
- How did Bobcat Goldthwaite score Nikki Cox?
- I wonder if Nikki Cox is ever going to pose for Playboy.
- Have you ever noticed Nikki Cox without looking at her enormous breast and ample cleavage? Yeah, me neither.
- You know what's great about Nikki Cox? Her boobs.
- I wonder when Nikki Cox is going to lift that restraining order.
Anyway, I may have gotten distracted toward then end, but those were the questions and thoughts that went thru my head.
Friday, September 09, 2005
I must bring this blog to your attention. because you regular readers are interested in finer things in life, you will enjoy the ramblings of this man, I believe he is a pioneer. I liked the naughty school girl post check it ou at Strip City .
Kevin Smith the almighty god of dick and fart jokes is doing a charity auction to benefit the victims of Katrina. If only I had the money for the BBQ at Kevin Smith's house or the walk on role in Clerks 2: Passion of the Clerks. How sweet would that be! Check it out at View Askew, Snoogans!
- Barbecue at Kev's House!
- A Walk-On part in "Clerks 2: Passion of the clerks"
- "Clerks 2" Set visit
- A View Askew T-Shirt Extravaganza!
- Have Kev Leave Your Voice Mail Message!
I'm getting a royal ass kicking on battle of the blogs today. I thought the sexy Brazilian's would gather some support and I don't know what's up with the shoutbox . It looks like the site that I have it with is down. All the blogs I know that use them are having issues with it today. If it's not working Monday I'll find a new one. Not the best blogging week in terms of posts, but I've had the best GOTD theme so far. I haven't decided if next week is going to be Swedish blondes or Naughty School Girls, only time will tell. See you Monday, football season begins Sunday!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
What is the next technological marvel? The video headstone! The 7-inch shatter-resistant LCD screen is designed to last for 15 years, when it can either be replaced with a newer device or covered with a bronze plaque. It will come with a one-year warranty; extended coverage for 10 years is about another $200. Now people can watch me doing your mom, long after you shot me in the back.
That's it. It is an extremely slow news day or at least the mindless news that I post.
Tomorrow is the last of the Brazilian women. I know I'm sad too, but there are other girls to see and one day we will make it make it back to the bountiful beauty that is Brazil. Here are few things I learned about Brazilian women this week. It must be true if I found it on the internet(s).
An American woman has several fundamental problems that will never go away and that will get much worse a few years after she is married:
- Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media. Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a point.
- Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This "princess" syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you, and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from you.
- Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.
- Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.
- Brazilian women generally don't have any of these problems. Marrying an American woman simply does not make sense. The ONLY reason men stay with American women is because they did not have enough exposure to Brazilian women. Any man who spent a few months in Brazil will not even look at American women again.
This info was found at a Brazilian mail order bride site, and you thought it was only Russians. I may start taking donations.