Thursday, April 20, 2006

Bus Driver


This is a little segment entitled what would you do? Not to be confused with What Would Jesus Do. I am interested in seeing just how crazy shit could get. So dont' be afraid to show me the crazy! Sound off with the crazy shit you would you do?

What would you do if you were a bus driver and owned the bus?

Sitting at the bus stop you notice the loud face-melting tunes of Metallica. Up rolls a bus with the ugliest paint job you have ever seen. For on my bus it is required that to ride you have throw up your signs and tag some graffiti on. Looking like you are the member of the Partridge Family or a Homosexual Gang you decide to board the bus. As you enter you looks to the back for a seat and notice a striper pole and a bunch of old perverts with dollar bills in thier mouths. I smile at you and offer a Quaalude because your going to need it for this trippy ride.

By the way Happy Hitlers Birthday or Pot Smoking Day, whatever your preference is.

---------------------------- Big D's Response ------------------------------------------------



What a tripy idea CD. Here is my crazy idea for a bus.

A midnight greyhound pulls in as you sit there waiting at the stop for the bus. The windows tinted black with a mysterious vibe to it, it's just a new bus you think. The old lady waiting with you attempts to enter and you hear the driver tell her this is a special membership only bus and she was not a member, she had to wait for another to arrive. You start to give up, but hear a loud Texan drawl say Howdy come on in, your on the list. You board the bus in confusing as the bus driver tells you have a seat "We have a long way to go and a short time to get there." laughs the bus driver. You board in the confusion and walk back and see the bus doesn't have regular chairs but recliners. You think how sweet this is and take a sit. There is a few passengers on the bus, but know where full. You recline your chair getting comfortable thinking you might take a nap. Just as you close your eyes you feel a soft touch on your shoulder. Looking up you see a long legged beauty with a short skirt and tight shirt around some sweet perky tits. She asks if you would like some buffalo wings and a bud light. "Hell Yes!" you say. As she bends down in her cart to fetch the beer it gives you a peak under that skirt and look at that, she has on a thong. As she hands you the beer she sees that stupid grin on your face and smiles. Like what you see she asks and she sits down in you lap and proceeds to feed you the wings. Can laugh get any sweeter you think, when the bus stops? Get the fuck out the driver tells you. You tip the nice lady a twenty and proceed to leave. Just as you start to depart I ask you. About that membership will that be cash or charge?

23 comments:

starbender said...

Are U ' offering a Quaalude ' on U'r bus as well?
Can I have 2?
;]

:P fuzzbox said...

I'm driving a short bus and you two can sit in the back.

Big D said...

Starbender: why not.

Fuzz: Sweet short buses rule!

Phats said...

I have to drive a spus now to tote my tennis girls around in, I would have no probs driving that.

Shannon said...

Ummmm errrrr,you know...

It wasn't nice looking up my skirt like that!! *Smack*

Just kidding..

I would ride that bus anyday..just make it a rum and coke and minus the hot woman and make it a man (OF my choosing) and I am there =)

Mimi said...

This is a good one. I will have to think about it. I will try not to hurt myself!;)

Crazy Dan-I did not delete you! I don't know what happened!

Ann Alsex said...

Crazy Dan that bus ride sounds fantastic! I would keep the girl, but replace the wings and beer with whip cream and chocolate syrup.

Crazy Dan said...

Phats - stop trying to scare me by talking about kids and I didnt do anythign to you!

Shannon - You just had to add that last part about your choosing didnt you.

Mimi - no need to think, I dont.

Ann - 12 inch moose cocK!

Jogger the Pony said...

Uh...we don't need the likes of you on our team. Go throw your dirty old piss jugs around a different trailer park. The Super Bloggers Club is a group of pedophile activists, not unlike NAMBLA (look it up on the net), who argue that they should be allowed to take children on sexual explorations. I'm sure you'd fit right in.

Big D said...

Jogger the Pony who the hell are you? What are you talking about? Catch me up CD, what did you to provoke this dingleberry? Hope it was something funny!

Shannon said...

Sorry?? I would hope since it was my bus fantasy that it would be of my choosing =)

Big D said...

Shannon how many men are you choosing from? lol

Shannon said...

LOL Not many at all.. I kinda have my eye on one already =)

fatty ~ said...

i always thought it would be cool to own a caravan/trailer/van/bus that looked like a pile of scrap metal. Maybe off-white with graffiti and shit - but with black tinted windows.

inside, i'd do it over so it was ultra sleek - good enough to live in.

always wanted an excuse to one a ute too.

Crazy Dan said...

He seemed like my kind of guy and people were being asses to him so I offered to watch his back, which as you can see he refused. I also wanted to know who the super bloggers were which he so eliquently answered for me. But I have no idea how he knew I lived at the trailer park.

Phats said...

Hey what did I do?! :)

Crazy Dan said...

nothinng that I am aware of Phat.

Phats said...

You scared of kids dan?

Crazy Dan said...

quit trying to get me to sleep with your wife

breezyr said...

i would just park my bus on the curb cause gas is too expensive for me

Big D said...

Phats I'm deafly afriad of babies!

Phats said...

HA! me too big D, and I am a teacher.

Polyman2 said...

The bus driver smiles.
His pants are rolled above his knees
and his bare calves
gleam in the heat.

Her skirt is black.
She has a tiny skull
and crossbones on each knee.
There is a garden in her eyes.

The woman kisses me
Her jaw creaks
and her breath clings
to my neck like mist...

M.Strand (The last bus)