It's that time of the year where young men and women take the first real step to massive parting. Yes, it's graduation and the first heroic step into the partying years. Here he's a letter I wrote and sent a nephew this week along with a little cash.
Congratulation on your graduation. I am sure you will look back fondly on your high school memories and are eagerly anticipating college life. I bet this week your going to get tons of useful graduation gifts, like towels. Actually, towels are very handy to have and something you would never buy. This gift, however, is not sent to be helpful. If used to purchase anything “helpful” I will be sorely disappointed in you. One of my older brothers sent me a letter just like this one with all kinds of “unhelpful” suggestions. You should ask him about those. Now I can't tell you how to use this money. Whether you use it to pool you and your friends resources and throw a raging kegger, sneak into a strip club, or double it playing online poker, I leave it to your discretion. I know I can count on you to think of something “unhelpful” like I did.
Have a killer time!
Note: I didn't actually say dude