Monday, July 03, 2006

Best Man Toast

The wedding is finished and everything seemed for the most part to go smoothly for them so Crazy Dan is now a married man. I gave the toast and of course my public speaking sucks, I’m sure I botched the hell out of it. Here was what I was supposed to say CD and congrats.

Everyone – if I could get your attention. I'd like to say a few words.

Before beginning, I'd like to offer my sincerest gratitude to Brianna and Daniel for allowing me to be part of this special occasion. I also, would like to say thank you to (breezy parents) and (breezy other parents) for all that you've done to make this THE special day that it is. And, of course, my gratitude to Charles and Trudy McArthur for all of your support and all that you've done to make this, by all accounts, the perfect evening.

For those of you I’ve yet to meet my name is Donald and I have the MIS-fortune to be Daniel's twin brother, [PAUSE] but I have the great fortune to be his best man. Believe it or not, I am the little brother. The youngest of four boys, I'm also the most gullible and for those of you who know Daniel, well you can now imagine the misfortune. When Daniel first told me he and Breezy were getting married my immediate thought was “Great now he has an accomplice!”

Not too long ago I had a conversation with Daniel and I asked him how he knew she was the right one, and if he was really sure he wanted to get married. He just looked me in the eyes and said “You know, most people have to close their eyes to dream, but with Breezy I only have to open them.” I remembering wondering what hallmark card he read that from. [PAUSE look at Dan] I'm sorry man, it seems just a little too deep for you. But, I've known Dan forever and this is one time I knew he was telling the truth and what was really in his heart.

[Look at Dan] So to my twin brother, I love you, man. You picked a great woman.

[Look at Breezy] Brianna, you look gorgeous tonight Dan is a very lucky man. Thru your influences I've notice Daniel slowly change into a man. Let me be the first to welcome another sister to the family.

Daniel, Brianna. All one has to do is look at you two together to know your future will be a long one. So to you both, an evening of perfection, a night of bliss, a lifetime of blessings. May your home always be too small to hold those who love you.

[Raise glass] Cheers


Yasser said...

what you were supposed to say sounds good; but what did you say instead?

Metal Mark said...

Congratulations to Crazy Dan and Mrs. Crazy!

Faith said...

Congratulations to Dan and the new wife. Hope she knows what kind of family she's getting into.... lol just kidding.

I know its hard to give a speech at the wedding. I was my sister's maid of honor and I almost cried during my speech. I tried to avoid too many jokes since she has no sense of humor I've found yet.

The speech was great, respectful and funny at the same time. Good work, Donald.

Big D said...

Yasser: I'm not quite sure I hope it was similiar to the one I wrote.

Faith: Thank you.

Johnny Wadd said...

Very nice dude, but wasn't that from "Wrath of Kahn?".

phred said...

Cheers, I`ll drink to that !

Pixie said...

Congrats Dan , that was a lovely speech bid D, brought a tear to my eye ;)
I cant believe you are gullible though, surely not ? :0

Crazy Dan said...

You did a fantastic job on the speech dude and meant very much to the misses and I.

Thank everyone for your kind remarks.

Breezy said...

i will agree with my other half, it was an awesome speech and everyone was touched-in a good way, not a michael jackson kind of way...thanks again donald

Curare_Z said...

What you wrote is I hope you said something similiar. Even if you didn't it couldn't be as bad as a friend of mine: at his best friend's wedding he stands up to give a toast. He's ranting about all the fun times they've had, to include a "knicker" wearing incident. Well, turns out all the old people in the audience didn't hear "knicker." They heard "ni**er." If looks could kill, he'd be dead a million times over now....

michaelm said...

A friend of mine recently did the best man thing. His wife asked him repeatedly what he was going to say for a toast. He would just reply, "I have it under control, don't worry."
The moment came and my friend gave an incredibly eloquent toast. His wife was stunned and said, "My God, I didn't know you could speak like that!"
He said, "I didn't. I got it off the internet. Best 35$ I ever spent." I guess you have to know this guy to realize just how funny it really is.
Anyway, very well said Big D.
I'm sure you made your twin and his spouse damn proud.
Hope you had a great day.


CT said...

great toast.... congrats dan!!!!!

Mimi said...

Beautiful toast! I wish you were my hubbys best man. His gave a horrible speech that talked about my husband liking porn!I don't even think Crazy Dan would have done that to someone!