Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My First Communion

This will be one of my few posts about organized religion so if this is something you take serious of do not enjoy reading I ask you to leave now. I have never been what you would call a religious type of person, I consider myself to be more of a spiritual type of person and have studied many different types of religions form Buddhism to Scientology. Early one Sunday my in-laws invited me to go to church with them on communion Sunday. I was always told that communion Sunday are for those people that have been baptized and are holy type people so bad little boys like me were not invited to participate. So I thought it would be interesting to sit back and watch this ritual to see what it was all about.

At first I found Church to be a relaxing place everyone is quiet and just sort of sits there, truth be told I was wishing I had brought a book to read because it reminded me of Barnes and Noble. Then the singing started… I am no singer and my wife usually pleads with me to shut up when I am sing with the radio. So for me to be forced to stand up and sing is a bit much to ask for. So as a stand up and stare at everybody I get this look from the father in law, I really can’t describe this look but it spoke volumes and not in a happy good feeling kind of way.

Finally what I had been waiting for happens and the preacher goes into this sermon about bread being the body of Christ and grape juice being the blood of Christ. Next thing I know everyone is being asked to come forward and received the blessings of Christ. That’s right I said EVERYONE, I start to go hysterical and try to leave but I can’t I have my wife and father-in-law staring me down. My body takes over and I start walking down the aisle while everything in my head is screaming RUN, FLEE, DON’T GO, something inside is begging me to leave but I can’t my legs will not work my body is moving on its on. It seems like a tortuous long journey and I am kneeling before the preacher, tears are coming to eyes because I can’t get away. I look up into the preacher eyes and see a kindness and understanding it is something I really can not explain. After taking the bread and grape juice something even stranger occurred and I am still trying to figure it out. A since of calmness almost like forgiveness filled my heart, I am being completely honest when I tell you I have never felt anything like this. I am still trying to figure it out. What was this feeling? What does it mean? I guess only time will tell but in the mean time I am going to continue being me.


Pixie said...

Wow thats strange.
If people want to worship whatever they choose thats fine by me, just as long as they don't try to enforce their way of life onto me.

Mimi said...

Since you are Crazy D I am not sure if you are serious or not! LOL! ;-) If you are that is great! And I think it must be a good church to allow everyone to do communion. When I would go with a old bf I could not do it. I think finding God on your own in your own time is the best way rather than having him pushed on you from the time you are born.

TheHamburger said...

Ehhh...I don't know man...the weird feeling might have been that you finally put something healthy in to your body other than Cheetoes and McDonalds...at least that explains why I felt so funky after eating it.

Curare_Z said...

Dude -- that feeling was relief that it was over.

Joking aside...some people believe that you shouldn't take communion if you aren't baptized. Not that I'm all "schooled" on this, since I'm not really a religious person either. But maybe you allowed yourself to open up to the possibility that it's ok to believe it something?

Either way, you're a good man for letting your FIL and your wife take you to church! :-)

Crazy Dan said...

Pixie - Thats how I see it too.

Mimi - Everyonehas ther own journey to take.

Hamburger - Or it could have been sexual frustration I suppose.

curare z - Thats how I always took it too, that you could not eat that stuff without first being holy or something.

TheHamburger said...

Wait...are you implying that since you weren't sexed up by the Priest that you were upset? Ehh...hmm...

rockyjay said...

I think you just found Jesus. That's all.

Either that or we all just got punk'd.

:P fuzzbox said...

Someone spiked the grape juice. Enjoy.

Anonymous said...

You and I have the same religious experiences. I also just went back to church after an absence of about 3-4 years. I got frustrated with the whole religious thing and quit. (Ok, there was more to it than that but that's a long story).

I just started going again and just last week, accepted communion--same type of church where everyone is invited to commune.

While I didn't have that peace come over me, I was happy to be there and was happy I received communion. Definitely made me feel less of the loser I really am. ;)

I say keep going. Enjoy!

TTQ said...

I have tears in my eyes, probably because of the Barnes and Noble crack. Or was it the part where you get hysterical..
Don't get me wrong, I totally take my religion seriously. Bwahahahaha. Now that i have collected myself. As a policy i don't discuss my religion, my politics and money. 'cause them there are all fighting words!!