Tuesday, November 14, 2006
My First Communion
This will be one of my few posts about organized religion so if this is something you take serious of do not enjoy reading I ask you to leave now. I have never been what you would call a religious type of person, I consider myself to be more of a spiritual type of person and have studied many different types of religions form Buddhism to Scientology. Early one Sunday my in-laws invited me to go to church with them on communion Sunday. I was always told that communion Sunday are for those people that have been baptized and are holy type people so bad little boys like me were not invited to participate. So I thought it would be interesting to sit back and watch this ritual to see what it was all about.
At first I found Church to be a relaxing place everyone is quiet and just sort of sits there, truth be told I was wishing I had brought a book to read because it reminded me of Barnes and Noble. Then the singing started… I am no singer and my wife usually pleads with me to shut up when I am sing with the radio. So for me to be forced to stand up and sing is a bit much to ask for. So as a stand up and stare at everybody I get this look from the father in law, I really can’t describe this look but it spoke volumes and not in a happy good feeling kind of way.
Finally what I had been waiting for happens and the preacher goes into this sermon about bread being the body of Christ and grape juice being the blood of Christ. Next thing I know everyone is being asked to come forward and received the blessings of Christ. That’s right I said EVERYONE, I start to go hysterical and try to leave but I can’t I have my wife and father-in-law staring me down. My body takes over and I start walking down the aisle while everything in my head is screaming RUN, FLEE, DON’T GO, something inside is begging me to leave but I can’t my legs will not work my body is moving on its on. It seems like a tortuous long journey and I am kneeling before the preacher, tears are coming to eyes because I can’t get away. I look up into the preacher eyes and see a kindness and understanding it is something I really can not explain. After taking the bread and grape juice something even stranger occurred and I am still trying to figure it out. A since of calmness almost like forgiveness filled my heart, I am being completely honest when I tell you I have never felt anything like this. I am still trying to figure it out. What was this feeling? What does it mean? I guess only time will tell but in the mean time I am going to continue being me.