Monday, February 27, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
Birds sing in the meadow and the old refuse to move on and desperately clinch to their youth. Grown men and women tirelessly work in dead end jobs only to support these elderly statesmen. A shining cloud of polyester begins to form on the horizon. The smell of decay permeates the air as all excitement is lost and contained in a mist of organization. The once mighty metal beast slumbers with screams of the forgotten hoard and misunderstood going unheard. "Where are the Gods of Thunder? Have they forsaken us?" asks a young boy to his sobbing mother. Deep in the underground a new generation is toiling, forgetting the real and living in a new web of life. Without these rebel pioneers the real world is suffering and the metal gods sleep. Metal worships still ring loud on this web and new gods form. Their followers begin to form a monstrous pit, but to the real it is silenced. The pit swells gaining force and power the deeper it travels, but the old waves are forgotten and a terrible price is being paid.
What the hell am I talking about? Barry Manilow's newest CD "Songs of the Fifties" is the number one album in America. THE HUMANITY!!!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
1. Don't poke yourself in the eye with the ear pieces. It hurts.
2. Glasses do not protect you from BB or pellet guns.
3. When playing dodge ball it's best to take your glasses off. Even if you can't see because even the most inept player seems to be able to hit you in the face and break your glasses. I think dodge balls have a built in glass seeker, but this is unconfirmed.
4. When welding you still have to wear a welding helmet.
5. Just because they are glasses doesnt mean they are SAFTEY glasses.
6. When wearing glasses be careful around hot women they like to throw you down and get on top of you. So make sure a comfortable surface is available like a couch or a bed.
Just take a look at this months vanity fair with Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley. click for a larger image it's 1024 x 768 a great wallpaper.
In the five years I've been working here I've been shadowed a couple of times, but I always forget what I have them do. anyway, the week before last I was told a couple of students were going to come in and one if not both was going to be looking in on my day. No big deal. I'd save some monkey work and have them do it. See how generous I am, it's all in the name of education.
One of our bright leaders of tomorrow, however, was busted that weekend on a BPA (Business Professionals of America) trip drinking and "other things". I'm not sure what other things is, I'm thinking maybe a little boob action or smoking weed. It's good to know our business leaders of tomorrow are on the right track. This little incident gives me hope for our public school system. What says corporate networking like beers, weed, and boob action?
Unfortunately now the student was unable to attend the fun that was job shadow day. Maybe that's a little too sarcastic, it wasn't too bad. I think my job is fairly fun, but then I'm a huge geek. So who knows? Last Thursday the remaining kid showed up and they decided to give him the full experience of the company and show him around everywhere. I was told he would be spending a couple of hours with me, which turned into three or three and half hours.
First he was going to spend some time with the Customer Care Group. This group takes all to the majority of the troubleshooting calls about phone, television, and internet problems. I used to have to take all the internet calls, but thanks to the formation of this group I handle very few old ladies anymore*. Our "caring" tech who is a complete douche and extreme moron told the kid that our customers are stupid, have no common sense, and "Don't even turn off their computers before they call". Could you sound more like an ass? First off, restarting a computer doesn't fix everything. Second off, yeah some of customers are not the brightest it's called; "You having a job!" You don't tell someone this, at least too someone about write a report that will be sent to your boss. Not to mention the fact his mother is a frequent caller. Speaking of common sense who said you had any! Fucking moron! Sorry, I went off there for a second. The other customer care group member in the office was able to do a little damage control, so maybe we will not come off looking like a bunch of ass monkeys. I wonder if I should take responsibility for our "caring" tech it was part of my job to train him when he came here. I failed miserably, but then maybe that's what happens when a twenty two year old has to train a forty year old. They just don't listen. Plus he's been her 4 years, it's called on the job experience.
Then it was my turn. I must be getting old because this senior looked like a 13 year old to me, but he was a nice enough kid. I showed him around the plant explaining what various equipment was and how it interconnected. I took him to the TV Head-End and showed him what went into providing IPTV. Told him about the obstacles there were in deploying and the troubleshooting that was and is required for the the system to run smoothly. I took a few simple internet calls and made myself look good by showing him good techs usually don't even need a computer to answer calls and proceeded to turn of my monitors for effect and answer these calls and any questions he thought he could stump me with. After that I had him do some work that I'd been putting off, like configuring ADSL modems and doing that day's forecast for channel one. That left enough time to show him a few tricks on building websites and then he was off to the cellular department. Overall I don't think it was to boring and if he had any interest in computers before it should have given him a good overview of the field.
*I thought about replaceing this line because it's sounds disgusting and I know you perverts, but I decide it was kind of funny too.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Turn On, is made with guarana, ginseng and caffeine. Doctors warn that the drink is not for everyone, like children, preggers, and old people. One children don't need to be having sex, anyway. Two only sick bastards want to know about preggers, and old people having sex. Other then that your good to go.
So to the ladyies, what's 5 inches long, 8 inches around, and can hold 12 fluid ounces of hot sticky liquid? It's Turn On! So take a swig.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Normal: Calling an escort service.
Bad: A 17 year old showing up to your home and giving her cocaine.
Worse: The 17 year old overdosing and calling your friends to help hide the body.
---------------------------- More Hijinks --------------------------------------
Normal: Getting arrested and having your family bail you out.
Bad: Checking straight into a hotel and calling an escort service.
Worse: The concierge recognizes you from TV and calls the police.
On to other things. If you missed the Superbowl or was taking a piss during the commercials and missed one check'em out here. I like the bear, touch football, magic fridge, and the one where Jessica Simpson wants me to pop something in her mouth.
Monday, February 06, 2006
You are Green Lantern
|Hot-headed. You have strong|
will power and a good imagination.
Friday, February 03, 2006
A mother of three purchased a "My Little Pony" DVD for her 3 kids ages 7, 5 and 4. However, instead of watching cute little pony's prancing on golden bricks; they got to see pretty whores holdin' pricks. The "My Little Pony" DVD was replaced with "Heartache" staring Stephanie Swift and Sydnee Steele in which... what the hell it's a porno, you know what happens. The lady responded to news paper reporter by saying, "I bought it as a surprise and, after their rooms were cleaned, I gave it to them." That's what I call a surprise! I can see it now. When her little boy turns into a teenager: "Man, When I was like four my mom bought this My Little Pony DVD. It was awesome, but she took it away and I can't find that movie anywhere. I'll I can find is stupid colorful little ponies instead sweet, sweet ass." The store is investigating the incident for those of you actually care.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Let's get nerdy.
Thoughts on Internet Explorer 7 Beta 2.
On installing IE 7 I received an error on the validation, but I clicked next again and it went thru. This was way to slow to install compared to Firefox. However, once installed you're rewarded with a beautiful interface. Slim downed toolbars and clean new look, much better then Firefox default skin. Here though is an advantage to Firefox. If you don't like the look you can always download new skins to fit your mood. This is still not available in IE and you must purchase additional 3rd party software for this feature.
Features New to IE.
The New Search Function.
This is possibly my favorite feature. It's not just Google or yahoo or msn. It allows you to set up a list of search engines and pick a default. I switch between Google and Yahoo for images all the time. This going to save a lot of time for me. Another search site I added was Amazon. I use that site very often. Other engines include AOL, Ask Jeeves, About, Cnet, eBay, Monster, Overstock, Target, Wal-Mart, Weather.com, and USA Today. Firefox does this, but I thought IE was a little easier to apply and search thru the engines. I do use this feature much in Firefox because I hate the way Firefox downloads images. Hell, I just hate the way firefox downloads. IE uses open search for this search feature and there are literally hundreds of search engines you can use. You can even customize it to use your site as a search engine.
IE7 finally integrates tab browsing. I've never been just a huge fan of this, but it does have benefits. To some people this was a huge advantage of Firefox as it saved resources on the machine, but Netscape has had this feature for years. It is a little easier to identify the pages on multiple tabs in IE, at least in the default skins. It also give you a thumbnail options so you can see the multiple tabbed pages you have open in thumbnail form. I just like the way it’s embedded in IE better. If you used to the shortcut keys (ctrl T) to bring up tabs you will not even notice the difference. IE has this same shortcut.
Multiple Tabbed Homepages.
You can create multiple home pages. So when you open Internet Explorer it opens multiple pages. I'm not sure why you would use this feature or how many home pages you can set. I set 6 homepages up, but I probably will not use this. I do see this feature in Firefox.
No, not Anti-Fishing, anti-phising. These are sites that actively engage in identity theft and stealing your money. Most Internet users should be able to tell the difference between a legitimate site and a phising site. However, working in the industry for 6 years, I know this not to be true. I believe there are far more ignorant users then savvy users and this feature can only help.
IE comes with more security enabled.
Which is a must as it's the most targeted browser on the market. Some may say this is because it's the easiest or weakest browser to take down. This is not true, it's just the biggest target. IE it's the most widely used browser, with 85 percent of internet users using it, while only 11 percent use Firefox. When you factor in the percentages and attacks IE is a more proven browser. That doesn't even account for the disparity in types of users. Mainly Internet savvy users prefer and use Firefox. As they should less attacks, but this is changing with the growing trend and in the last 3 months Firefox has had more updates then IE. Most users don't even think to use other browsers, hell most don’t know you can and can’t even tell you the name of the browser they use.
There a few bugs that must be fixed before primetime.
- Windows Validation. I installed IE 7 Beta 2 on 3 different machines validation had aproblem every time. Fix it.
- Compose mode in blogger works intermediatly and comments in blogger work, but render differently. Fix it.
- Trying to copy and paste images from IE to Photoshop did not work the first time. I had to close Photoshop and reopen it to get it to work. Fix it.
Overall it's like Firefox rebranded and enhanced. If you are an avid Firefox user you are not going to switch and you have no reason too. If you are an IE user get ready to catch up to the rest of the world.
Sorry for getting nerdy there, believe it or not I tied to keep rational and hopefully didn't geek out too badly. If I didtoo damn bad, that's who I am just ask Fuzzbox or CrazyDan. I get that, "what the hell are you talking about look all the time." I should tell the story of the time we got together for Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter trivia. It would scare some of you.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Designed to let your inner man out, the Pee Tree is for the outdoors in public places. No more dangerous trips to the bar alley alone, only to find a box,wall, or dumpster to pee on. The Pee Tree is designed to look like a tree to increase flow and manliness of this everyday act. With the Pee Tree you no longer have to pretend to wash your hands! Just merely wipe them off on your pants leg or air dry them like a real man. The trunk is aerodynamically designed to catch pee and gently direct it to the bowl where it is connected to a sewer line. What happens if you miss? No fuss, your outside! Have a contest with your buddies to see how high you can pee or simply pee in the bowl. The Pee Tree is only limited by your imagination. Why sulk to a urinal when you can race to a Pee Tree! Coming soon, the Pee Bush for women!