Fuzz Tagged Crazy Dan and I on the food places to eat and because Fuzz and Dan took all the places I eat (Ponderosa, Los Olivarez, Furr’s, Texas Road House, and Wienerschnitzel) I’m going to change it to favorite places to mooch food. Why go out and pay for food when I can get for free.
Moms & Dads
I love mooching food at mom & dad’s house, mainly because it’s easy and convenient. Sure most of the time it’s a sandwich, but sometimes it can be meatloaf, tacos, or occasionally a nice big steak and baked potato. If Dad’s cooking it’s either awesome fried chicken or something kissed by fire. I love BBQ season!
Poor Fuzz is never off on the weekends anymore so mooching has been rare of late. However, summer is mooching is in season at Fuzzes house. Stop by anytime he is off and he will delight your taste buds with some ribs, brisket, or hot links and seeing how Fuzz is really just a big softy he lets everyone mooch so no need being just family. I would be remiss if I forget to mention the free entertainment. That’s half the fun right there! Fuzz and Angry Joyce have a standup act including comedy and juggling that is all the rage at the local PD. That is if you consider juggling, throwing heavy objects as hard as you can at each other and comedy, screaming profane four letter words at the top of your lungs at each other comedy and I for one do!
Break Room Birthdays
One day every month people are encouraged to bring food in to celebrate peoples birthdays that month. Smells like a free lunch to me. Usually it’s just cakes, cookies, and muffins, but occasional you have the odd meatball, or BBQ little smokies. I accidentally found myself in the break room surrounded by pregnant women, a very scary experience, but not to be left out. I mentioned that I too was pregnant. Everyone looked shocked when I revealed I was having a baby boy… A baby boy elephant and damn his trunk was getting long!
Texans love to BBQ and love to compete. If you make your way over to one of these contests you can delight in the sport as a professional moocher or you can be truly sly and find yourself as a judge. The judge gets a taste of everything without having to walk around, that’s right it’s brought to you, and of course free beer!! Don’t forget it’s required to down one beer after ever entry. No need about worrying about a designated driver just make you way into the back of someone truck and they will politely dump you on your front lawn. Pffft, and you thought southern gentlemen were a thing of the past.
Nothing says good cooking like blue haired old ladies praying for death. Most of these old ladies recipes well be going to the grave with them so it would be a sin not to enjoy them now. Just be careful in line I kicked a cane once to get first in line and she fell over and broke her hip, last time she was at pot luck and the last time I got to taste her killer cornbread .