Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The same damn question keeps plaguing my marriage over and over again. "Why do you spend more time at work than you do with me." I admit that I do spend more time in work mode then I do in husband mode but I just don't know any other way to be.
These kids have to know that I am the hammer. They need to fear my power, respect my authority, and trust everything that I tell them. At the same time they should feel they can trust me with their problems, fears, and anything they might want to share. Those are my job duties and building up enough rapport for these kids to trust and fear me like that is not something that's easy to do and I can't accomplish it just working eight to five.
At work I communicate in all different kinds of ways like chit chatting, showing emotion, showing interest, providing feedback, stating how I feel, showing appreciation, listening to both sides, being expressive, being meaningful, and being able to evaluate things without jumping to conclusions. So knowing that I can communicate in all these ways, why is it that when I am asked if the jeans look good on her I stand there dumb founded like I don't even know what jeans are? At work, I am never satisfied with an average performance, but at home I usually am and then I fall asleep.
So why do I not put in the same effort in our relationship, the quick and obvious explanation is that I take my wife for granted and know that she is going to always be there when I need her. In fact, that very sense of security is what I treasure most about our marriage. There are some other reasons why I put more time and effort into my work than I do into my marriage. One of those is that I want to be that man: I am competing against lots of other people for jobs, for raises, for respect and my competitive nature drives me to want to be the best out of all the others. Another one is that to me not working equals weakness: the sociologist Warren Farrell has written that men see that career success is a measure of their personal worth and I want to feel that I have accomplished something with my life.
In closing I am sorry that I do not spend enough time at home or put enough effort into our marriage but it is not because I don't love my wife. It is just because I am driven to be something more than I am now.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Since I have nothing but time on my hands today thanks to the storm storm that piled 8 inches of snow on the road,. I thought I would study the way of the ninja. The first step of learning the ninja way is to uncover your way of the ninja. Whats your way of the ninja?
Friday, January 19, 2007
I added a Swiki to the blog. Yeah, I never heard of them either, but our friend from Blogs Are For Wusses recommended it and said it would help his Blog out if we used it. A Swiki is basically a search engine. Like the word Wiki and new Web 2.0 applications it is an interactive and a user controlled experience. Knowing we share the same kind of pervs on our sites you can guess what the majority of the searches are going to be about.
Monday, January 08, 2007
We Are Marshall a chick flick for guys. In 1969 Marshall University lost 55 football players, almost the entire coaching staff and several other members of the community bringing the death total to 75 in a fiery plane crash. This movie covers that fateful day, the rebuilding of the program, and the struggle of the survivors. The movie was well written and the acting was suburb. The movie is not so much about football as it is about the lives of the people left behind. You cheer for Marshall, but for the most part you cry with them. In a theater packed with guys it was strange to hear sniffles or the fake cough to covering it up. I will admit a few tears touched my cheeks as I faced a losing battle holding them back. I dare anybody to not let at least a few fall as Ruffin breaks down or Coach Rhett falls apart. If you don’t get a little choked up you have no heart. The movie was stellar and was more an experience then an actually movie screening. I recommend the movie highly, but beware you will tear up and plan accordingly. Your girlfriend may appreciate seeing your sensitive side or she may just laugh at you. In the end you’ll know
We are…. MARSHALL!