Off Gaurd
"My brother had a condom on when I sucked it so I am not sure if that counts." If that does not catch you off guard then nothing will. Needless to say the rest of the conversation was just as strange.
posted by Crazy Dan @ Thursday, November 13, 2008
3 Comments
3 Comments:
At least you didn't have to worry about swallowing.
I'm on "Guard", which you spelled wrong on the post header, lol.
I'm one of those rare guys who's never particularly cared for oral or anal sex--just good-old-fashioned fucking!
The last whorehouse I visited was a trailer in a poor-white suburb called Theodore, in 1992. The only hooker available happened to be hot enough, so I asked if she'd let me fuck her for $60. She agreed, and led me to her room.
She wouldn't let me kiss her, but slipped a condom on my erect cock, and sucked it. This was not what I'd asked for, but I figured it was just a pre-fuck bonus.
Of course I couldn't ejaculate-- so when she finished, and told me that was all, I reminded her of the fuck she'd promised. She said, "Oh, baby, you'd have to pay $100 more for that!" This caught me off guard, so I didn't think to protest until she'd led me back into the hall.
But I noticed the old madam (whom I hadn't seen before), sitting next to the front door, her hands on a pillow on her lap. I knew she had to have a pistol under that pillow, so I couldn't protest, without getting shot.
I left the trailer, steaming with rage, and drove back home, swearing to the point of exhaustion.
Hookers just suck!
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