This weekend is homecoming in my merry little town of happy people. As a hermit I will be skipping all activities and hiding in my basement. That way no one can find me. There is an annual tradition of Fuzz asking if I want to go to the game with him and me politely declining. I’ve never given a good reason why I always decline and here is the real reason. If I went to the game I would end up standing around looking like a douche. What would happen is; some friends of his would show up to bullshit and because I don’t talk I would end up standing around looking like a douche. or some of the losers I went high school with would come up to chat and because I don’t like them I would stand around listening to their meaningless life stories and when it came to my turn it their would be awkward silence and again I would be standing around like a douche. Sure right now I skip all activities like an ass, but there is a vast difference between an ass and a douche. An ass may be smelly, dirty, and sometimes hairy, but an ass is its own person. A douche is merely a tool that shows up nice, clean, and perfumed, but ends up smelly, dirty, and sometimes hairy. I’m just skipping that first step.
Election Year Begins
I love election year! There is nothing quite like the slandering and mud throwing to get your blood flowing. This year is going to be a good one. We already have Bill leading the way with his supposed breakdown and bitch out. That was a stroke of genius, I must admit. It shows the dems how to handle those situations when you don’t want to you look weak and you know the other side is right in thinking you are. The perfect tactic is too appear strong and like you’re going to kick someone's ass, yet nimbly blaming the opponent. Bravo, Mr. Clinton. Impressive! Then you have Nancy Pelosi calling her main opposition "desperate". Brilliant use of the word, Ms. Pelosi. Also, impressive. Then we have failing celebrities Mel “please love me again” Gibson and Sharon “getting older” Stone saying a few words to get into the headlines and the race is off and running. We must not forget about those wily conservatives. Champions of pushing the issue and nounceing nothing. Just hardcore this is who my opponent is. And who is you’re opponent Mr Bush? "The party of FDR and the party of Harry Truman has become the party of cut and run!" Too true Mr. President those whining cry baby appeasers only want to coddle those fledgling terrorists. I’m sure they weren’t hugged enough as children. The only plan I can see from the left they want to sit down with the enemy and talk about feelings with the possibility of a group hug afterward. Oh this October is going to be fun!!!
I don’t really understand the whole global warming issue.s Even if humans caused it and the world is going to end like Al Gore says it is in ten years, then what the hell can we do about it anyway. If everyone in America stopped driving SUVs and used "clean" energy would it really make a difference? Probably not, because you have China gearing up atheir energy output with coal, oil and all that nasty stuff that pollutes the air without all the stingy limitations we have here. So the energy will most likely be produced in the cheapest and most economical way making it all “bad”. Capitalism even exist in communism! Hell, I will even agree with the alarmists saying Global Warming is a huge issue, at least to a logical point. However, the global warming leader Al “I invented the Internet” Gore has come up with another root cause of global warming… Cigarettes. Now I hate cigarettes. I personally believe they are poison. Sure we are all going to die, but do we have to pay for it? I’m also sure a bunch of the wacky lefties are going to be like. “See, we should outlaw cigarettes! It’s not only bad for us, but bad for mother earth.” Hell, I’ll even join you if you legalize marijuana. Then we can all just sit around pass joints and watch as global warming reverses. Maybe the Muslims and Jews will celebrate peace with a world wide hug day. That would be sweet!
The Animal Olympics
At first read that sounds just plain stupid, but I had forgot animals have that most noble of sports, Kangaroo Boxing. I hope that kangaroo kicks that Chinese fucker’s ass!
I spent my lunch break calling eye doctors on our vision care plan trying to see if there are any are open on Saturday. Hell no! Now I’m going to have to take off and do it. Not that it’s that big a deal I have plenty of sick time. I’ve only called it once in five and half years, but this year I’ve finally accumulated enough to start getting paid for the days I don’t use. Fucking Optometrists and their fucking banking hours!
Oh well, have a good weekend!