Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Lego Bible

Wow, this is totally insane. It’s called the Brick Testament. It’s the bible done in Legos! That’s right the entire Bible told in Lego format. I can’t imagine the time it took, but this insane site is a must see. Here are a couple of images from the site http://www.thebricktestament.com/


The things people do in their spare time. Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Apocalypto

"The man who helped bring you "Air America" now breathes new cinematic life into the collapse of the Mayans."

The following contains many spoilers, not that the movie is good enough to spoil.

First off the collapse of the Mayans might have been a cool story; however, this movie has nothing to do with the collapse of the Mayans. Apocalypto takes some tribe I guess they’re Mayan they are all at peace with the forest, yet act like they guys from Animal House. I’m not sure about the historical context, but if accurate this movie documents the first icy hot to balls prank ever. Not to mention the first hazing incident where eating raw wild boar balls is performed. Isn’t it funny how some things never change?

On a side note be prepared to see a lot of male ass in this movie, which you really aren’t that rewarded for. You do get to see some bare breasts, but for every pair of saggy boobs you view you are shown some dude’s wang.

Soon the fraternity is attacked by guys wearing bones the adults are rounded up and enslaved minus a few of women who are raped and killed. Here is the odd thing in this scene, we see all kinds of bloody violent carnage. It’s pretty gruesome, but when they go to rape a few women all of a sudden there is modesty and the warriors take them behind something. It’s not big deal to show a child you got off his dads head, but they need some privacy to gang rape an already nude woman. I’m not complaining of this, hell should have cut more of the violence out. I love violence just as much as the next guy, but damn exercise some restraint. After awhile you’re like fuck just get this over with. During this attack the chief’s son Jaguar Paw lowers his wife and two year old son into a sink hole to keep her safe and then goes back to the fight so that he could get captured. The warrior tribe ties all the enslaved people up and takes off leaving all the kids to fend for themselves, which is pretty damn heartless as you see the kids following their parents.

After a long and journey they arrive at the city with a huge temple. The women are sold and the men are painted blue and let to the temple for sacrifice. Once the get to the top of the temple the Blue Man Group makes an appearance and tries to start a musical number, but before they can the Mayan priest throws them over a slab cuts their hearts out and shows them it before they finally die. (Something I’ve long wanted to do to the Blue Man Group.) Then the executioner whose whole responsibility is to chop people heads off severs them from the bodies and rolls them down the stairs. The peasants then ensnare the heads and toss them into a huge pile of other severed heads where mothers take the blood from the head and smear it on their babies. This is when a couple in the row before me got up and walked out. The guy who saved his wife, Jaguar Paw, is then laid on the black alter and just when the Priest is about to kill him an eclipse occurs. The peasants go ape shit because of a known prophesy which says that an eclipse is precursor to the fall of the “Sun” people. The Priest takes this all in stride and says the Gods are satisfied with all the blood and Jaguar Paw and his fraternity is spared.


The frat tribe are lead down the stairs with a little relief. Where they are then told that they are free and pointed to the forest. Two of them are let go and told to run. They warrior tribe then uses them as target practice. Next Jaguar Paw and some other guy about to die are set free. Jaguar Paw escapes and on his escape ends up killing the head guy’s son, much running and Jaguar Paws ass in a loin cloth is shown for about 30 minutes. Like the fugitive he is soon trapped between the law and waterfall. Like any good innocent convict he chooses to free fall into a few hundred foot drop which leads to rapids. Feeling all bad ass and superior he decides to taunts the warriors. This is not a wise idea because the head guy then makes his warriors jump two. Three of them die but the head dude and a few lackeys survive and once again the chase is on.

End Spoilers.

On the chase it starts to rain so Jaguar Paws wife and son are in danger of drowning. Jaguar Paw is able to kill both Neidermeyer and the Head bad dude on the chase when the two final lackeys end up chasing him to a beach you didn’t know was there. On the ocean are… ships. The two lackeys become spell bound and walk to the white men rowing toward the beach. Jaguar Paw gets up to go rescue his family where and I forgot to mention his wife is pregnant and decides to go thru labor and we are shown her having the baby in this sink hole half full of water. The mom grabs the baby and Jaguar Paw shows up to see is new born son. The mom then throws the baby up to him and he pulls her and his other son out by the new born’s umbilical cord. Not really, but the way this movie was going it would not have surprised me. The end scene shows them heading into the forest.

My conclusion this movie is a total waste of money and time. Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s pretty pointless.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Chewable Fun


Taking your vitamins used to be such a drag I remember a few stern warning that I had better do what I was told or I was going to get my butt beat. After always having to tell me and then punish me because I refused to take my vitamins mom got smart and bought the tasty chewable Flintstone vitamins. I loved those things and would sit down and devour the bottle if left unattended. Well it seems that the Drug Company and parents have gotten smart. With teen pregnancy on the rise and the age people are having sex gets lower each year they have come up with a new way for people to take birth control, chewable constraciptive pills. I am not joking now woman can choose between strawberry, grape, and (excuse the pun) cherry. Soon you should be able to buy Spoog Bob Happy Pants contraceptive chewables.




I was kinda thinking this picture would be perfect on the bottle maybe even a new flaver called Dirty Sanchez. What other new flavors can be added?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

My Favorite Renegade

Here is a little post celebrating the new Harry Potter Trailer. Sirus Black rest in peace my brother.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Journey Thru the Snow.

It doesn’t snow much here in West Texas, but occasionally the sky opens up on a cold winter day and we are gifted with the frigid delight. Yes, Snow Day is a time of great excitement. I know I get all exited like a little kid and it takes every ounce of will power I have not to roll up that snow into a nice round ball and start pelting coworkers as they attempt to make into the building under duress. It’s a primal need, especially seeing how we may have only one good snow a year possibly every two. I’m sure some of you northerners get tired of the snow and rightly so, you get feet not inches, but here in West Texas it’s a time to celebrate. Schools are closed or delayed, because everyone know Texans can’t drive in the snow. If you live far away it’s a great excuse to skip work. Another great past time when it snows is something I’ve envied of Northerners for years. SNOW ICE CREAM!!!! That’s right the ambrosia of the gods, that wonderful sweet delight that is snow ice cream. Recently I found out most of the people where snow is plentiful have never even heard of snow ice cream. Hell when you mention the very idea you get a look of yeah right which then proceeds to distain and finally they just think you’re a dumb ass. Snow Ice cream is true! People of the North I implore you to embrace your destiny! You cannot make snow ice cream until the second snow, I can only pray for a second snow this year. It has been over three years since my last batch of the ambrosia. God willing this year break that drought will be broken. I urge you northerners to have an open mind and make some for yourselves below is what you need to make this tasty treat.


Large Bowl of pure white snow.
Vanilla
Lots of Sugar
Lots of milk

Keep in mind you need lots of sugar and milk, not a whole lot of vanilla. Mix it too taste. I got the recipe as a kid from my mom who apparently doesn’t use measuring utensils. So play around. I guarantee you, you will love it!

Here is my journey to work this morning as I walked thru the powdery joy.




My House. You can see my footprints I made as I found a pot for a picture.

Empty lot I walk thru every morning covered in snow.

Thought this made a cool picture. Where is the sidewalk?

That's not The Dickens County Tree Hugger aka Bigfoot it's just my size 13s in the snow!

And we say we are the dominant lifeforms on this planet. this pour schmuck is walking his dogs and picking up their steaming pile of poo in the cold wet snow.

Crossing Mainstreet. Yeah, we're a metropolis.

MOre of downtown. Holy shit there is a car! I can't beleive it.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Leftovers

Big D has been slacking on his usual holidday wallpapers so before Thanksgiving is over I thought I would put up last years Thanksgiving Motivation, Thanks for the leftovers Big D. November is almost over so bring on CHRISTMAS!!


Monday, November 27, 2006

Turkey Day Fun


I had an awesome Thanksgiving Holiday racked up just under 700 miles on the old Pontiac. We began our trip Wednesday and headed out to my father-in-laws thanksgiving jamboree or as my brother and his wife refers to it “Emmett and Otters Live Jug Band Thanksgiving.” They call it this because most of the their family are musically inclined in the bluegrass arts; this includes the mandolin, fiddles, guitars, harmonicas, banjos, spoons, and a variety of other musical instruments I am unable to identity. This would be my first time celebrating Thanksgiving with them and I was a little worried about it at first, I am not a fan of lots of people so the 150 people that normal show up had my shaking in my booties. What I forgot is that older people can cook and Thanksgiving one of those holidays where they pull out all the stops. There was some really great food there and I spent most of my time eating pecan pie. When everyone’s belly was full it was time to break out the moonshine and start the singing. I must say nothing brings out the Johnny Cash in me quite like some homemade whiskey, and before long I was shaking my leg and getting down. I can’t wait for next year and came back with lots of recipes and will start making my own whisky soon.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Turkeys

Have a good thanksgiving everyone!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My First Communion


This will be one of my few posts about organized religion so if this is something you take serious of do not enjoy reading I ask you to leave now. I have never been what you would call a religious type of person, I consider myself to be more of a spiritual type of person and have studied many different types of religions form Buddhism to Scientology. Early one Sunday my in-laws invited me to go to church with them on communion Sunday. I was always told that communion Sunday are for those people that have been baptized and are holy type people so bad little boys like me were not invited to participate. So I thought it would be interesting to sit back and watch this ritual to see what it was all about.

At first I found Church to be a relaxing place everyone is quiet and just sort of sits there, truth be told I was wishing I had brought a book to read because it reminded me of Barnes and Noble. Then the singing started… I am no singer and my wife usually pleads with me to shut up when I am sing with the radio. So for me to be forced to stand up and sing is a bit much to ask for. So as a stand up and stare at everybody I get this look from the father in law, I really can’t describe this look but it spoke volumes and not in a happy good feeling kind of way.

Finally what I had been waiting for happens and the preacher goes into this sermon about bread being the body of Christ and grape juice being the blood of Christ. Next thing I know everyone is being asked to come forward and received the blessings of Christ. That’s right I said EVERYONE, I start to go hysterical and try to leave but I can’t I have my wife and father-in-law staring me down. My body takes over and I start walking down the aisle while everything in my head is screaming RUN, FLEE, DON’T GO, something inside is begging me to leave but I can’t my legs will not work my body is moving on its on. It seems like a tortuous long journey and I am kneeling before the preacher, tears are coming to eyes because I can’t get away. I look up into the preacher eyes and see a kindness and understanding it is something I really can not explain. After taking the bread and grape juice something even stranger occurred and I am still trying to figure it out. A since of calmness almost like forgiveness filled my heart, I am being completely honest when I tell you I have never felt anything like this. I am still trying to figure it out. What was this feeling? What does it mean? I guess only time will tell but in the mean time I am going to continue being me.

Monday, October 16, 2006

A Prayer for the Stressed

Happy Boss's Day, here is a little prayer I like to recite when I get a little stressed at work.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me always to give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23%on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday, and
5% on Friday.
Help me to remember...
When I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Angry Joyce’s Hilarity

Angry Joyce is well a smart ass. I’m not saying that in a bad or mocking manner more of an honorary title. Angry Joyce started working a the local grocery store a few weeks ago and this morning I stopped in to grab me a few snacks for work. Mmmm cupcakes….. Anyway there was this lady and her son maybe he was like 9 checking out. The little kid was acting like a monkey or something. I don’t know I was in the snack isle. When I heard Angry Joyce say “Hey, Stop acting like you daddy!” This was funny in itself but what the kid said next…. “My daddy doesn’t live with us anymore.” The store went silent. Until the little kid spoke again, “He has a new girlfriend and she is seeeexxxxyyyy.”

Laughing at others misfortune, I knew it was going to be a good day.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Texas Gubernatorial Debate

I missed the Texas Gubernatorial Debate Friday, but I found on the Dallas morning news site. Here is the link. There is only one debate this year because Gov. Rick Perry is a tool. Which is sad because I'm republican. The candidates include Chris Bell the democratic nominee, current Gov. Rick Perry and two indents Carole Strayhorn and Kinky Freidman. I have no idea whom I going to vote for now. I was leaning toward Kinky because he is a kooky guy, but the Internet is Satan comment took me out of his camp. Kinky you wacky dumbass!Chris Bell sounded OK, but I don't know just another standard politician. Strayhorn sounded like a moron not knowing the president of Mexico and how many slogans does she have? It was like a bad comic with all those one-liners. I'm torn. I don't like Perry he is owned by too many people, Strayhorn changes her mind more then her underwear, Kinky is a loon and Chris bell is a standard Democrat with no real ideas. Texas is fucked for another 4 years!

A Political ad you won't see on TV.

The director of scary movie David Zucker mad an AD for the GOP but the republicans are being pussies and not showing it . It’s pretty funny too. Check it out.




Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Heartless - Bad Doctor

This discribes my mood pretty well, amazing how a German Band and Hentai can do that.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Night in the Woods


The story begins as most stories do, with a little white lie. It took me hours to find the perfect spot out the pasture and it was a beautiful cubby surrounded by lush mesquite trees and the sweet smell of the cactus blooms gave the little spot a more romantic atmosphere. Phred was supposed to be showing up in about an hour and I was rushed to make sure that everything was perfect. I covered the hard ground with a soft blanket and placed dozens of cottony pillows over the blanket to make our special spot more comfortable and relaxing. The only problem with my plan was that unbeknownst to me Phred would not be showing up, see Phred learned though Big D and Fuzz that there was no hunting trip and that I was just trying to lure him up their alone. Hours went by and Phred did not show up so I began to drink some Natural Light that I had iced down for Phred and me. I was beginning to think that something had happened to him and maybe he did not understand the directions I gave him and got lost. As I began to get up off a particularly soft pillow I heard footsteps coming my way. They were pretty loud footsteps but I merely thought that Phred had gained some weight and he is a bit flat footed so I did not really think much of the loud footsteps. Out of the darkness stepped up a creature that’s chest rivaled that of infamous David Hasselholf, never had I seen a hairier chest. Only on closer observation I noticed two tiny breasts.

Would You Like To Hear The Rest Of The Story?

Friday, September 29, 2006

Friday Topics and Other Shit

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted so here is a nice post broken up into various topics that are running thru my brain.

Homecoming

This weekend is homecoming in my merry little town of happy people. As a hermit I will be skipping all activities and hiding in my basement. That way no one can find me. There is an annual tradition of Fuzz asking if I want to go to the game with him and me politely declining. I’ve never given a good reason why I always decline and here is the real reason. If I went to the game I would end up standing around looking like a douche. What would happen is; some friends of his would show up to bullshit and because I don’t talk I would end up standing around looking like a douche. or some of the losers I went high school with would come up to chat and because I don’t like them I would stand around listening to their meaningless life stories and when it came to my turn it their would be awkward silence and again I would be standing around like a douche. Sure right now I skip all activities like an ass, but there is a vast difference between an ass and a douche. An ass may be smelly, dirty, and sometimes hairy, but an ass is its own person. A douche is merely a tool that shows up nice, clean, and perfumed, but ends up smelly, dirty, and sometimes hairy. I’m just skipping that first step.

Election Year Begins

I love election year! There is nothing quite like the slandering and mud throwing to get your blood flowing. This year is going to be a good one. We already have Bill leading the way with his supposed breakdown and bitch out. That was a stroke of genius, I must admit. It shows the dems how to handle those situations when you don’t want to you look weak and you know the other side is right in thinking you are. The perfect tactic is too appear strong and like you’re going to kick someone's ass, yet nimbly blaming the opponent. Bravo, Mr. Clinton. Impressive! Then you have Nancy Pelosi calling her main opposition "desperate". Brilliant use of the word, Ms. Pelosi. Also, impressive. Then we have failing celebrities Mel “please love me again” Gibson and Sharon “getting older” Stone saying a few words to get into the headlines and the race is off and running. We must not forget about those wily conservatives. Champions of pushing the issue and nounceing nothing. Just hardcore this is who my opponent is. And who is you’re opponent Mr Bush? "The party of FDR and the party of Harry Truman has become the party of cut and run!" Too true Mr. President those whining cry baby appeasers only want to coddle those fledgling terrorists. I’m sure they weren’t hugged enough as children. The only plan I can see from the left they want to sit down with the enemy and talk about feelings with the possibility of a group hug afterward. Oh this October is going to be fun!!!

Global Warming!

I don’t really understand the whole global warming issue.s Even if humans caused it and the world is going to end like Al Gore says it is in ten years, then what the hell can we do about it anyway. If everyone in America stopped driving SUVs and used "clean" energy would it really make a difference? Probably not, because you have China gearing up atheir energy output with coal, oil and all that nasty stuff that pollutes the air without all the stingy limitations we have here. So the energy will most likely be produced in the cheapest and most economical way making it all “bad”. Capitalism even exist in communism! Hell, I will even agree with the alarmists saying Global Warming is a huge issue, at least to a logical point. However, the global warming leader Al “I invented the Internet” Gore has come up with another root cause of global warming… Cigarettes. Now I hate cigarettes. I personally believe they are poison. Sure we are all going to die, but do we have to pay for it? I’m also sure a bunch of the wacky lefties are going to be like. “See, we should outlaw cigarettes! It’s not only bad for us, but bad for mother earth.” Hell, I’ll even join you if you legalize marijuana. Then we can all just sit around pass joints and watch as global warming reverses. Maybe the Muslims and Jews will celebrate peace with a world wide hug day. That would be sweet!

The Animal Olympics

At first read that sounds just plain stupid, but I had forgot animals have that most noble of sports, Kangaroo Boxing. I hope that kangaroo kicks that Chinese fucker’s ass!


Vision Care

I spent my lunch break calling eye doctors on our vision care plan trying to see if there are any are open on Saturday. Hell no! Now I’m going to have to take off and do it. Not that it’s that big a deal I have plenty of sick time. I’ve only called it once in five and half years, but this year I’ve finally accumulated enough to start getting paid for the days I don’t use. Fucking Optometrists and their fucking banking hours!

Oh well, have a good weekend!




GO TECH kick those Aggies ASS!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Jessica's law

Today I got an e-mail from David Dewhurst the Lt. Governor of Texas. You may have heard of Jessica’s Law on Bill O’Reilly, well now it’s time we Texans joined in support of this law.

I’m sick and tired of swatching news and seeing children being victimized by these deranged psychos and then getting a few years and time off for good behavior. As a society we should demand more! Jessica's Law will require a minimum of 25 years to life for violent sex offenses against children. On the FIRST offence and the option of the death penalty on the second. Please join me in support for Jessica's Law for Texas. You can click this link to sign the online petition and make your voice heard.

On I side note I think this law should include all victims of sexual attacks not just children. These violent acts not only do extreme harm to children but adult victims as well and it hurts our society at large. People that do these reprehensible acts need to know thier life is going to be taken away. I don’t care if it’s the death penalty or life in prison. Once you commit a heinous crime of rape, you are no longer welcome in society as you are a danger to it.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Survivor Cook Islands

Last night the greatest show ever produced started its 13th season, Survivor: Cook Islands. The Cook Islands are in the South Pacific Ocean, north-east of New Zealand, between French Polynesia and Fiji. There are fifteen major islands, spread over 2.2 million square kilometers of ocean Thought I’d throw in a little geography lesson there. This twist this year has been called controversial, I think its just genius. Not only is this year more diverse, but it’s exploring those diversities by separating all tribes into races. There are four tribes battling it out for that, oh so important immunity. These tribes include Asian, Black, Hispanic, and White.

Asian Tribe: Green Team,
Tribe Name: Puka Puka
Members: Yul, Cowboy, Becky, Brad, Jenney


The Asian Tribe is probably the most interesting tribe and you already have an outcast there. That outcast goes by the name of Cowboy and he is crazy mofo. Cowboy is a Vietnamese refuge and most of his other tribe members are second or third generation Americans. He has a cool laid back mentality and already he is getting on the nerves of his tribe by constantly telling Asian jokes. Cowboy performed possibly one of the most bad ass things ever seen on survivor. When Brad, a teammate, started feeling bad with a headache, Cowboy used some technique and got rid of the “wind” headache. Brad was just as astonished as us at home, but he did joke that his headache was gone and instead had a huge red dot in the middle of his forehead. Another teammate named Yul appears to be a strong survivor, but he might be more worried about stereotypes then winning the million dollars. If he can make peace with Cowboy this will be the strongest tribe as they proved this episode by easily beating the other survivors.

Black Tribe: Yellow Team
Tribe Name: Manihiki
Members: Sekou, Stephanie, Nathan, Rebecca, Sundra


What can I say about the Black team? They just can’t get together as a group. Anyone who steps up as a leader basically looks like the bad guy. As one contestant laughed and said about building a shelter, “Black people just don’t listen.” They all looked at him for a second and laughed. After coming in last on the immunity challege there was no laughing. The tribe sent Sekou paking. Sekou was one of those guys that claim to be able to do everything and in reality do nothing. He constantly took breaks and never backed his word. I agree with the vote. His strength might be missed, his work ethic will not. The strongest person on this team is a nursing student named Stephanie. She is not only the hardest worker on the team if she would step up as a leader this tribe could be tough, but if she rides the radar she will go further in the game. I think this team will fold first, but Stephanie will have the opportunity to be the biggest threat in the game.

Hispanic Tribe: Red Team
Tribe Name: Aitutakai, JP, Ozzy,
Members: Billy, Cecilia, Cristina,


When I see the term Hispanic, I think Mexican. I guess that’s because those are the only Hispanics I know. I don’t think this tribe has a single Mexican on it. They have a Puerto Rican a Columbian and someone from the Dominican Republic but no one from the largest group of legal or illegal immigrants in the US. Where are the Mexicans I ask you? It’s just not the same. This team appears tough and they made a strong case in immunity almost winning, but there is already descension in the ranks and the previews for next episode already has a few memeber wanting to throw an immunity to get rid of a big lazy guy. Unless they pull together this tribe is dead, tribes that throw immunties are always the first to go home.

White Tribe: Blue Team
Tribe Name: Rarotonga
Members: Adam, Candice, Jessica, Jonathon, Parvati


This tribe is the most team oriented tribe. No major squabbles in the first few days, but then again I haven’t seen them do shit either. They came in third place in the immunity because of stupid mistakes, yet still easily beating the last place team. I can’t seem to like this tribe. I want to be like go white people! However, I ended up hating them. Jonathon in my opinion is the biggest dick on the series this year. When Rupert stole supplies on the Pearl Islands it was endearing when this guy stole a chicken from the Asian Tribe he looked like a cunt. I mean the Asian who got the chicken had to dive overboard and climb back in to get it to his tribe. After all that work it was stolen, that’s just a bitch. What happens to the chickens after their stolen? Well the token tattooed “alternative” chick named Jessica accidental lets them go. Bringing us back to Jonathon when pressured if he stole the chicken responded with “Oh did I? It was chaotic I just saw it and grabbed it.” What a douche he bragged about it and the finale and possible most annoying event happened on this tribe. The white team did not build a shelter. They decided to huddle together for warmth, which isn’t a bad thing. However, when some ignorant little soriety hoe giggles “Cuddle Puddle!” It makes me want to punch the TV. I know white people are supposedly lame and shit, but cuddle puddle? You dumb bitch!

Conclusion: So far this year Survivor taught me to come to terms with a 26 year old secret. Thru this season I hope to learn more about my culture. Yes, it turns out… I’m Asian American! I know. I was stunned also. Still the fact remains I’m a 6’5, large, pale colored Asian. IT's going to be a fun season.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Stream your music!

Check out this new software I found. It allows you to stream that home collection of MP3 and ripped CD on your home machine to any laptop or pc connected on the net! It’s easy as hell to setup and free! All you need is high speed and a public IP address.

First you download the Slim Server. You can download it here. Install this on your home machine. Takes 5 minutes! It automatically finds your music collection and sets up your machine as a server without any help. If you have a firewall make sure port 9000 and 3840 are open. Next find your IP Address. This is done in Windows XP, by clicking start, programs, accessories, and command prompt. In command prompt type IPCONFIG. Write down your IP Address. You will need it later.

On the computer you want to stream on, download SoftSqueeze. You can find it here install it, it’s easy! When you go to set it up you will need the IP Address of your computer. Type it in under SlimServer Hostname and it should connect. Now it shows you are playing nothing, that’s ok we have another step. You have to set up a play list. You can do it from SoftSqueeze or the SlimServer. In my experience it’s easier from the SlimServer. So open your browser, Internet Explorer or Firefox, and in the Address type in http://[your-IP-address]:9000/. Now you have the ability to build your play list. You can search by album name, artist, there are even radio stations. There are all kinds of other features like the ability to download your music instead of simply streaming it. I haven't played with all the features yet, but so far I love it. It's a thing of beautifully at work!

I'm checking out another internet service called last.fm I've seen it several blogs lately. I'll let you know if I find it worthy.

Till next time, ROCK OUT!!!

Animated GIF Fun!



That's Jenna Bush on the beach changing. No panties for a few brief seconds and some pervert caught it on camera for every red blooded, blue stated American to stare at her nude bush. It’s sad, and reflects the state of our pathetic society. We should stop gawking at celebrities and their nipple slips and crotch shot paparazzi invasions. On a side note, I think it's hilarious. I’m sure it's just another attempt by Republicans to distract us from the real issues. Damn those wily Conservatives!

I have several other editions of this animated gif. As Always feel free to steal.

Demi... What?

Dirty Republican Tricks (Above)

Another GOP Majority?

Weapon of Mass Distraction

Neatly Trimmed Bush

More GOP Propaganda

If you have a better caption. Let's hear it.


UPDATE:

The site that orginated these photos on the web nowthatsfuckedup.com has been taken down! In an effort for this not to happen to me and I'm a chicken, I've uploaded them to photobucket. Information is free even if it's perverse, spread the word my minions!

Update 2

Apperhently that's not Jenna Bush just someone that looks like her. That is, however, that no name persons bush and being the bastard I am, I still think my gifs are funny and I'm not taking them down. In other news that dudes site was taking down because he was a tool not because he posted nudie shots. He traded the military to take gruesome death shots over in Iraqi in exchange for free access to porn sites. Douchebag!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Rainbow Moonlove 3


I am sorry about not sending out my Thursday Love yesterday but I was busier then them ladies at the Bunny Ranch on two hole Tuesday. This week though I am sending a very special serenade out to my beautiful blue eyed wife. I know she is not a blogger but I could not have made it this week without her. Baby I love and can not wait to melt your face with my angelic voice when you get home to day. As always hugs to the person that knows this song, this time is going to be more difficult… no chorus, but I did leave a clue in the picture.

I can feel, too much is never enough
You're always there to lift me up when these times get rough
I was lost, now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
You're the woman that I want
So yo I'm putting it down

I don't deserve youUnless it's some kind of hidden message
To show me life is precious
Then I guess it's trueBut to tell truth I really never knew till I met you
See I was lost and confused
Twisted and used up
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it
My lifestyle's wild, I was living like a wild child
Trapped on a short leash paroled the police files
So yo what's happening now?
I see the sun breaking in through dark clouds
And a vision of you, standing out in a crowd


One last thing if you know someone that needs a little love let me know I will try spreading some. HUGS everyone.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

God Speed Steve

I’m back from my vacation and it's terrible it has to be on such a sad occasion. The death of a hero, a mentor, a man of tremendous passion and unwavering bravery. The Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin passed this weekend. He died doing what he loved. I can’t really add anything to what’s already being said all over the world, but I think we all loved that crazy bastard. I know I did.

God Speed Steve.




Just click above for my tribute wallpaper.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Rainbow Moonlove 2

I have said it before blogs should not be a place for hate but one for love. So for the second week I am going to send out a little love to a fellow blogger. Only this time instead of sending it to someone full of anger and hate I am going to send it to man, Phred who is going through the loss of a dear friend. So Phred with much love a serenade you with my beautiful angelic voice to ease your pain, I also ask everyone that reads this to please visit Phred and give him a little love. Together we can ease his pain. Once again bonus Hugs for the person that knows this song.

Carry on my wayward son,
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Now don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely
means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but
I hear the voices say

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Rainbow Moonlove


I am fed up with all this hate and it is time to spread some love. If I want to see hate and anger toward people I will watch the news or read about the Middle East. So Fuzz I am sorry I decline the honor of joining your FOAD and you Kiss My Ass Webring. I respect you and love reading your blog but I can no longer condone the hate. So each week I will serenade a blogger with a heart felt tune of love and inspiration. So call me Rainbow Moonlove because this tune is for you Fuzzy Wuzzy.


When it's love you give - I'll be a man of good faith
Then in love you'll live - I'll make a stand I won't break
I'll be the rock you can build on - Be there when you're old
To have and to hold
When there's love inside - I swear I'll always be strong
Then there's a reason why - I'll prove to you we belong
I'll be the wall that protects you - From the wind and the rain
From the hurt and pain
Let's make it...All for one and all for love
Let the one you hold be the one you want - the one you need
Cuz when it's all for one - it's one for all
When there's someone that should know -Then just let your feelin's show
And make it all for one - and all for love
Let the one you hold be the one you want - the one you need
Cuz when it's all for one - it's one for all
When there's someone that should know -Then just let your feelin's show
When there's someone that ya want -When there's someone that ya need
Let's make it all - all for one - and all for love

Bonus HUGS to the person that knows this song!!

Transgender Inmate

What the fuck is going on these days? Seriously, what the fuck is going on? The ACLU have prisons running so damn scared of lawsuits that they actually allow transgender inmates to receive psychotherapy, hormone shots, and laser hair removal because they are “transgender”. Now get this it’s a possibility they will now get $20,000 sex-change operations paid by, you guessed it tax payers. Well, that is if a Federal Judge sides with Robert Kosilek a convicted murderer and prison lifer. I guess I should call him Michelle because he legally changed his name to it in 1993, but instead I’ll call him Inmate. I thought Inmate would be happy, he gets all the cock he could ever want; I guess he decided he needed another hole for it. Other special perks Inmate gets are lipstick and women’s panties. Hell the government is paying might as well splurge on Victoria Secret! The inmate’s quotes are priceless:

“The greatest loss is the dying I do inside a little bit every day.”
- I guess that’s worse then the actual dying of his wife Cheryl who he murdered in 1990.

"Just the hormones and the makeup do not get rid of my suffering.”
- Wonder how much your wife suffered when you killed her.

Inmate has tried committing suicide twice. Being the heartless conservative I am and seeing how this is Fuck Off and Die Thursday this murdering freak should Fuck off and Die already!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Me in Heaven?

A few years ago if you asked me where I was going to end up in the after life it would have been a no brainer. I would be the guy having to bend over while Satan shoved a pineapple up my ass. In the last couple of months things have changed. I have a job helping kids and I am even considering taking a few tentative steps toward going to church. I guess getting older and being married makes one go through a religious awaking or something because lately I have been thinking about it quite a bit. The question that’s most on my mind is how does one talk there way into heaven. Here is what I have come up with so far.

ADULTERY WITH SOMEONES WIFE: I think it’s a good idea to be buried with the ex-lovers picture. I bet if you show the Lord a pair of gigantic boobies he will understand the temptation was irresistible. Some of you might say "Hey, Dan God is a woman." to this I say maybe but I bet she is a lesbian and will still totally understand.

INCEST: Point out that in Genesis, the patriarch Lot has a three-way romp with his daughters and the Bible never says what he did was wrong. I bet that guy is up in Heaven, so why not me?

TAKING THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN: God is not a name. It clearly says in the bible that humans do not posses the understanding or capabilities to say God’s true name. So saying "God Damn!" technically is not breaking the 7th Commandment.

Killing Someone: I know the bible says thou shall not kill, but believe it or not there is an exception for this in the bible. If you and the victim declare war on each other, you're in the clear! So remember before you pull that trigger to say “This is war, bitch.”

Monday, August 21, 2006

Broken

I was flipping the TV at lunch and stopped on CMT after hearing this girls voice. I thought it was a very pretty song. I can't think of anything else to post so I figure it might as well be this. And no I don't regular listen to counrty music and yes occationally I do have a heart.

BROKEN (Lindsey Haun)







Note: It's from an upcoming movie called Broken Bridges. It will probably be the first country album I'll have bought in about 5 years. And if the girl looks familiar IMDB shows she has been in lots of shows including Disney's web surfers that previews movies. I think everyone on the Disney channel longs to be a singer.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Morning Incoherencies

First off I can’t believe “incoherencies” is a word. I thought I made that up, but it’s in spell checker. As you guessed I’m extremely incoherent this morning, more so then usual. Which is pretty bad. I’ve been up 2 ½ hours and still have no idea, what I’m doing out of bed. I’ve washed my face like ten times and yet my eyes still have that crusty sleep stuff forming in the corners. I know I had to have walked to work this morning, yet I don’t remember doing so. However, I do appear to have on all my clothes on and they are not inside out or backwards and my shoes are tied. Maybe I need to be incoherent more often. One other thing I don’t seem to be able to speak this morning. My voice sounds more like a mumble. Kinda like that dude on Fat Albert.

The multitudes are pouring into my office this morning for some reason. The worse part they keep coming back. So I’m curious if my red glazed eyes say “Hey, I’m dying to help you!” or perhaps they say “Yes, come in and tell me your life story.” Because it seems like everyone wants something this morning. Usually when I’m awake no one talks to me until after 10, yet when I can barely decypher what the hell these people are talking about I get assaulted the moment I step into my office. It doesn’t upset me, I’m pretty much indifferent to the world right now. Hell, I’m usually indifferent most of the time. Also, it’s not like my job is that difficult either I can pretty much nod and answer any of their questions on auto pilot. It might help they ask the same questions every few weeks.

Take this mornings round of questions. Someone “accidentally” yanked their keyboard cable out. I stopped asking how the hell you can “accidentally” do this kind of stupid shit several years ago. Forget the fact that most of these people have been working with computers at least ten years. I just politely told them where to stick it. Although, one question was much more difficult “The toner is out on the copier how do I replace it?” I mean I almost had to think on that one. The answer is: follow the instructions on the side of the toner. Ohhh, pretty pictures! Now that I think about it, they might have been trying to get me to do it. Oh well, I can’t read minds. It also seems I’m much more honest in this state, which is strange. I really should not have answered “You annoy me and I am an asshole.” when someone asked why I had taken their e-mail address out of the spam filter. Live and learn right?

This was actually written on Wednesday, I'm just now getting around to post it.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Doing Our Part

After over a year of research your patriotic friends here at West Texas Rocks have come up with a plan to destroy the Al Qaeda. After observing the terrorists actions and habits we have learned this evil terrorist group has a soft spot for gnomes. That's right the everyday common garden gnome that you see out in your neighbors front lawn. Islam is not only infatuated with these little creatures but it turns out the reason most men have beards is because the gnome is an idol to them almost a Demi-God. It is a secret truth that Muhammad actually worships gnomes! With this shocking discovery it will be possible to inflict mass damage and casualties to the Al Qaeda terrorist network. What better cover for an incendiary bomb then a tiny cuddly gnome? These suicide gnomes may be small but by turning them into robots and hiding stores of explosives under their beard they becoming deadly weapons. Just imagine them walking into a crowed terrorist meeting place and….. BAMMM!!

Garden gnomes are so common they would pass right by them and never notice that there is bomb just waiting to go off. This is truly the ultimate way to destroy Al Quada’s moral supports. Destroying the objects they worship will devastate them and force surrender. We need your help though, we do not have enough gnomes to begin this operation so please donate a gnome today and help kill a terrorist.

I leave you with a poem that will soon be sung throughout the land. I did not make up this poem it is merely sung by me and I admit it is sung badly but proudly.

There was a time when Earth was young,
and evil ruled our homes.
No good could save us from our fate,
until the coming of the Gnomes.
Through invention and curiosity,

through fast speech and faster hands,
orcs, ogres, and even trolls,
were forced to flee the lands.
Gnomes, Gnomes,

the heroes of the past.
Gnomes, Gnomes,
never came in last.
Fighters, clerics, magi, and thieves,

they fought in all ways.
Goblins, gnolls, and kobolds,
were slain over many days.
Gnomes, Gnomes,

the heroes of the past.
Gnomes, Gnomes,
never came in last.
As time went by and good was restored,

the Gnomes finally returned home.
The people never forgot,
the power of the Gnomes.
Gnomes, Gnomes,

the heroes of the past.
Gnomes, Gnomes,
never came in last.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Take a Stand

I think it is about time tobacco companies and smokers started fighting back. I am tired of towns and even countries (Canada, Ireland) trying to ban smoking. This is not the first time governments have tried to regulate the citizens behavior and each time a government tries it almost always fails. The people eventually rise up and overthrow the fascist norms and I believe this is the time to do so. With everyone’s help we can bring about a change, join me and stop local municipalities from banning smoking and stop government from raising taxes on tobacco. I am tired of government and people making a quick buck by suing tobacco companies. These people are enjoying tobacco for free! I say it's about time they pay for it. Hear is what people have to say about getting to enjoy tobacco for free. Tim enjoys his hacking cough and reduced lung function. "It makes me seem cool," he bragged. "As for all the phlegm, I can out spit any punk in the bar." He should not be so damn cool for free! Lorraine Wilson, 49, sucks in as much passive smoke as she can. "I enjoy the mainstream variety, which is exhaled by smokers. But my husband, Tim "Iron Lung", prefers side stream smoke, which comes directly from lit cigarettes." Lets send these people and Washington a message. I am filing a class action suit in order to penalize millions of secondhand smokers and the government from enjoying my second smoke. I will be asking for 100 BILLION dollars, mandatory cigarette breaks for all employees, and free health care. If people are not going to buy cigarettes they should not be able to enjoy other people’s smoke! It is a known fact that secondhand smoke is the only answer to fixing the ozone layer and stopping the greenhouse effect. The smoke is responsible for creating a new under lining layer in the atmosphere that helps block out radiation and other harmful products brought on by the sun. That friends is an inconvenient truth. Together we can make a difference!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

GW Just too Sexy.

I am extremely excited to bring you West Texas Rocks first every photo shoot! Now I know what your thinking, another bikini clad babe. No, friends I've decide to treat you ladies to this special occasion. I know, I sometimes forget about you women. I appreciate your readership, though. So I've decided to pull off the biggest coup of the year, millennium, hell possibly ever. This politically stud gets his party energized and the opponents all hot and bothered. That's right the once great governor of Texas, the commander in chief, the guy that puts the lic in Republican... GEORGE W BUSH!

I told you. AMAZING! GW has been a friend of WTR since it's inception. A man whose guiding light, firm resolve, and unwavering support has helped WTR reach the 50,000 hit milestone. We appreciate his hard work and friendship.

4 MORE YEARS!!!



Click the image to see GW in his first ever WTR pictorial!

Acknowledgements:

"I voted for the shirt before I voted against it!" - Senator John Kery
"It made me wet." - Senator Nancy Pelosi
"Now you understand the kiss!" - Senator Joe Liberman
"The picture started Global Warming in my Pants!" - Al Gore
"We need to bring our boys home! If by boys you mean GW's balls and by home you mean my mouth!" -John Murtha
"The economy is shrinking if you mean economy as room in my pants!" - Teddy Kennedy
"And you thought I was protesting the war. MEOW!" -Cindy Sheehan


Monday, August 07, 2006

E-Mail: A Simple Thank You.

Here is something I never do. Forward E-mails. Yet, I think it goes well with the current crop of posts, and I linke the pictures. Plus, it's Monday give me some slack.

********************************

A Simple Thank You

Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two together. After we boarded our flight, I turned to the sergeant, who'd been invited to sit in First Class (across from me), and inquired if he was heading home.
No, he responded.

Heading out I asked?
No. I'm escorting a soldier home.

Going to pick him up?
No. He is with me right now. He was killed in Iraq. I'm taking him home to his family.

The realization of what he had been asked to do hit me like a punch to the gut. It was an honor for him. He told me that, although he didn't know the soldier, he had delivered the news of his passing to the soldier's family and felt as if he knew them after many conversations in so few days. I turned back to him, extended my hand, and said, Thank you. Thank you for doing what you do so my family and I can do what we do.

Upon landing in Chicago the pilot stopped short of the gate and made the following announcement over the intercom.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to note that we have had the honor of having Sergeant Steeley of the United States Marine Corps join us on this flight. He is escorting a fallen comrade back home to his family. I ask that you please remain in your seats when we open the forward door to allow Sergeant Steeley to deplane and receive his fellow soldier. We will then turn off the seat belt sign."

Without a sound, all went as requested. I noticed the sergeant saluting the casket as it was brought off the plane, and his action made me realize that I am proud to be an American.

So here's a public Thank You to our military Men and Women for what you do so we can live the way we do.

Stuart Margel -- Washington, D.C.

Also, here are two very touching photos honored at this years International Picture of the Year.

First PlaceTodd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac.

During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful: "See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home," he said. "They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should."



Second Place


Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News

The night before the burial of her husband's body, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to his body for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that reminded her of 'Cat,' and one of the Marines asked if she wanted them to continue standing watch as she slept. "I think it would be kind of nice if you kept doing it," she said. "I think that's what he would have wanted."


********************************

Friday, August 04, 2006

Taking a Stand



There is a quote by Edmund Burke “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” That is an interesting belief. When you are small parents tell you not to fight, yet stand up for yourself. While schools enforce a policy if you stand up for yourself you are punished with equal force as the person that caused you to fall. These contradictions have caused many to avoid any types of situational confrontations. Not out of fear or lack of conviction, but out of habit. Like all bad habits this must be broken, but it can only be broken thru force of will.

What outraged my sense of, lets call it "righteousness" for lack of a better term? That would be the Westboro Baptist Cult, it disgusts and angers me to know they hide behind a constitutional right of a country they detest and cheer for its demise. Free speech is a cornerstone of our democracy, but we also have the right NOT to listen. That is where the Patriot Guard Riders come in. These honorable men and women have refused to let the insanity of a few tarnish a respectful and sacred ceremony. Why do these men ride?

Why do we do this, you ask?
Why bother to stand out in wind and rain for someone unknown?
Why do we ride through torrents chilled to the bone?
The answer is simple: “Because, Never Again!”

Never again will they return home in shame,
Never again will wearing their uniform cause them pain.
Never again will we forget why they serve.
No, Never Again.

But still I hear you say “Why does it matter to you?”
“They aren’t your friends,
your brothers, your sisters,
your father, your mother.”
War is a sad time for many; it is sad but true.
So, why do you gather in the gap between their families and their foes?
The answer is simple: “Because, Never Again!”

Never again will grieving parents, families and friends alone bear mourning’s toil.
Never again will hard-won freedom of speech be used to debase and destroy.
Never again will their sacrifice be dishonored upon their home soil.
No, Never Again.

Why do we gather, why do we ride?
Why travel this country far and wide?
We remember our grandfathers, fathers, brothers and others yet to come.
We stand proud through tears reflecting their courage and pride.
Because, Never Again.

That’s why we ride.

Written in memory of:
Henry C. Barrows ~ Army, WWI (Great-Uncle)
Cecil A. Bray ~ Army paratrooper, WWII (Father)

In honor of:
Garrett C. Bray ~ Navy, Viet Nam (Brother)
Donald A. Dinsmore ~ Marines & Army (Husband)
and
All Patriot Guard Members

Laurel B. Dinsmore May 8, 2006

So I found myself in that spot yesterday. That spot when you know it’s time to stand up, yet still you hesitate. The spot were you doubt what you’re doing, when you KNOW your 1000% justified. The first thing I did when I found out about the UGs or Uninvited Guests as the Patriot Guard calls them was to spout off. “This is bullshit we should go up there. I’m going up there! Fuck those Douche bags!” After I said this, probably, when I said this I wasn’t going to do anything about it. I was just talking. However, for some stupid reason I kept telling people this, trying perhaps to get them to go. One time after another the people turned it down. You should go up there they would say. "I wish I could, but I have this thing I have to do. " and "Yeah, that’s awesome you should go up there." The more I talked the more I knew I was going to have to do it. Like in most situations the thought of having to actual converse with unknown people quickly turned my stomach. Then added in with anxiety of all social interaction was that possible fear of confrontation, the doubts were practically screaming. I knew at this point I would have to go even if it was alone, fortunately I did not have to do this. There was one person who would go with me and knowing that one person was behind me gave me enough courage to face that anxiety and fear.

So yesterday evening my brother and I went to lend aid to the Patriot Guard Riders and show our respects to the Valez family and their son. However, it was more then showing respect to a fallen soldier. It was showing that we cared for all our troops that had given that last good measure. It was showing respect to a country that I love and all the people that have made sacrifices big and small to it. It was showing compassion to another human being. It was saying, I’m sorry for your loss and I love you for it.

So as I stood holding the flag of the United States of America, I realized what it meant to be a good citizen, a decent human being, and compassionate man. I will forever be indebted to Army Spc. Andrew Velez for that.