Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Apology




A judge in FOND DU LAC, Wis. is forcing people caught urinating in public to write signed letters of apology that are published in the local newspaper. So...

"I am incredibly sorry that I whipped it out and pissed on the wall. Even though it's not might fault I was conceived in a barn and raised in the country. It is my fault that I got trashed and decided to piss on the sidewalk. I also apologize for embarrassing your fine city's young men, but they do grow them bigger in Texas."

-Big D

GOTD: Evelyn Lory



Tuesday, November 29, 2005

GOTD: Adriana Sklenarikova

The 6'1 beauty from Slovakia is a model for Victoria Secert and if you don't drool watching her in that wonder bra something's wrong with you.




Monday, November 28, 2005

GOTD: Kyla Cole

While we're in the area let's go over to the Slovak Republic and take a look at Kyla Cole.




Thursday, November 24, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

GOTD: Sylvia Saint

I've got a couple of wallpapers for you today of Sylvia Saint the porn star beauty form the Czech Republic.








Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Movie Mix

Crazy Dan gave me this idea on his last post at Accidental Goat Sodomy. He posted a photo-shopped picture of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire combined with the Denver Broncos. I did the same thing combining the top four grossing movies of the weekend with a few news headlines I found today. Why the top four? I ran out of ideas for the fifth. I plan on sleeping late tomorrow so the GOTD will be late. In the meantime enjoy these pics, I had fun doing them.

You can click on them for a larger version.

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire mixed with the Vatican's statement about no openly gay priests.






2. Walk the Line mixed with the youngest mayor.






3. Chicken Little mixed with Michael Moore. Not really news, I just don't like Michael Moore.






4. Derailed mixed with the Eagles latest loss.



If you like these and feel you want to steal one. Go ahead, I don't mind. I think my favorite is Derailed.

GOTD: Petra Nemcova

Today the beauty for the Czech Republic is Petra Nemcova. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit / Victoria Secret Model that survived the tsunami is incredible.




Monday, November 21, 2005

GOTD: Veronika Zemanova

I finally got around to updating the WTR Wallpaper site. I kept putting it off until later and then it took
forever to do. It is done though and I changed it up. Instead of one page you have category's to browse. This will make it easier to find your favorite and it will decrease load time. Hopefully, I will add some extra wallpapers sometimes this week seeing how I have the enitre week off. Now on to business. This weeks girls are from the Czech Republic and what a week this is going to be. I've found 10 beautiful women so I'm not even sure what who I will use. What I don't use I will post at WTR Wallpaper site.

Today it's Veronika Zemanova




Thursday, November 17, 2005

GOTD: Cristina Rus

Sorry, I was a little rushed this morning as I did not want to get up. This is the first oppurtunity I have had to post the GOTD. Hopefully, it's not a disappointment.



Wednesday, November 16, 2005

WTF GQ?




I read that GQ, the metrosexual magazine for pussies, has named Jennifer Aniston man of the year. You read that right a woman was named MAN of the year. WTF? They said it was because she demonstrated calm, pose and grace during her breakup with Pitt. This is a mens magazine if the person of the year had to be one those morons should it not be Pitt for dumping a plain looking Aniston for and uber hot crazyass bitch like Angelina Jolie. Look at the pluses here;

  • Jolie beautiful eyes.
  • Jolie luscious lips.
  • Jolie better ass.
  • Jolie bigger tits.
    Jolie has curves.
  • Jolie is bisexual.
  • Actually has been in movies worth watching.


Jolie will not get pissed if you bring another woman to bed, hell she probably invited them. Although, I did Photoshop the 5 0'clock shadow doesn't it look like it belongs?

UPDATE.




Here is an update on a post I did awhile back on the spanking strippers. The dancers and manager pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct ending a case in which a loser filed a complaint after he was spanked with a big wooden paddle on his birthday.

The spankings which cost $25 dollars are no longer offered at the club and the paddle was ordered to be destroyed. The Prosecutor, Larry Jegley, had this to say; "We suggest cake and ice cream parties for birthdays in the future," only if I get to lick the icing off the stripper, Larry.

GOTD: Spicy



Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Japanese Basketball




Those crazy Japanese and their crazy... Pedophilia. Eight girls from Ehime Prefecture claim the former coach of their local basketball team made them run naked as punishment. He also hit them on the head, and half the students have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I'm sure they are, I've seen enough Hentai to know what goes on in those Japanese schools. What with all the tentacled creatures and the horned demons, but that's another story. The 49-year-old coach defended himself by saying this;

"I did make them take off their pants, but I did not make them naked. It was to infuse fighting spirit in them to win a competition and I did not consider them as sexual objects."

Fighting spirit not perverted sexual objects? Okay, I'll buy that. NOT.

GOTD: Andreea Raicu



Monday, November 14, 2005

Old Drunken Bastards



Call the Irish what you will; drunkens, ginger-pubes, Leprechauns, potato eaters, family... but I can't deny this brilliant idea. A nursing home in Dublin added a Pub to it's facilities. This instantly increased moral among it's elderly patrons and also added more visits from their children.

Cheers to all you old bastards!

GOTD: Alina Vacariu

This Week we travel to Romania.



Saturday, November 12, 2005

Medical Research


The United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $180,000. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex
After the results were published, Germany decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the U.S. study were incorrect. After three years of research and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the German study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study. The Candians didn't really trust the U.S. or German studies. So after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75, the Candian study was complete. The Candain study came to the conclusion that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

More Reading, For Those Who Like To Read.

Joe Francis is the owner of "Girls Gone wild" he is in a interesting trial involving some guy and Paris Hilton. Here is the first paragraph on this craziness go to Radar Online to check it out, Especilly those of you into perversions and celebrity whoring.

The videotape on the screen in front of me is stark, grainy. The color is garish, almost fluorescent, possibly from too many generations of loosely authorized copying. A shirtless male figure lies face down on a mattress, his head resting on a pillow. His eyes flutter at half-mast. His mouth is puddled in a stuporous grin, and he looks very, very high. The camera pans to reveal his pants dragged down around his knees and a pink vibrator resting on the crest of his buttocks, lazily gyrating with an irritating whine. The mood is hardly erotic. The man on the screen looks like a hostage in one of those videos streaming out of war-ravaged Iraq: disheveled, sleep-deprived, disoriented, and, just maybe, fearing something on the order of an on-camera beheading. "My name is Joe Francis," he says repeatedly in a damaged monotone, slurring his words in a continuous stream. "I’m from Boys Gone Wild, and I like it up the ass."

Mesaba Airlines



A flight attendant fight stalled a Chicago-bound plane for hours. Chip Romine was the passenger center stage for this chick fight. Chip can you give us the play by play.

Sure Big D. It started off as nothing. I boarded Mesaba Airlines and found my seat I was trying to put my carry-on in the overhead, when this cute little blond attendant, Tracy comes over tells me that the bag was a little big and to let her handle it. Little Tracy had this great tight little ass Big D, you could bounce a quarter off of it. At first, I didn't think this little broad could handle it. I'll tell you what, I was wrong she gripped that bad boy and pulled it hard and pushed it in. I thought she almost had it all the way in when Tammie came in and snatched it out from under her. She told little Tracy it was too big for her and she would stick it in. Now, this older flight attendant had tons more experience then little Tracy, manly sort of face, but a Helluva a set of knockers. Let me tell you they were some ripe melons Big D. So anyway, Tracy gets pretty upset and screams at Tammie "I almost had it into you old dried up cunt!" Wow, talk about some fireworks, it was on. Next thing you know there was hair pulling, biting, scratching and grunting. It was quite the site as some other passengers and I gathered around to cheer them on. I had a side bet on Tammie when the little weasel of a co-pilot showed up, that puny cockblocker came out to see what the commotion was and turned beat red and stopped the fight as Tammie's large brazier landed on his head. We got a little angry at the virgin, and were just about to riot the pilot came out and shook his head. He asked why nobody called him for the fun and we all cracked up. This pilot was a Helluva guy Big D, Helluva guy! He told us we would take off in a few minutes after he talked to the two attendants. The pilot left that little rat bastard in charge and took the two ladies into the cockpit. About an hour or so later both attendants left the cockpit and were all smiles. Tracy even let me slap her ass. What a great captain!

The premise of the story is true two Mesaba flight attendants really did get in a fight and cause the flight from Memphis to Chicago to be stalled for several hours and the passenger was named Chip Romine, but I did not talk to him this is merely what was going thru my mind as I read the story.

The Spirit of Elvis



"I think Elvis and my wife planned this. Out of all the millions of people in the world that man came to me at this time." said Duke Adams, a 62-year-old retired Elvis impersonator that helped Las Vegas police catch the man who stole more than $300,000 worth of memorabilia. That's right nobody steals from "The King". In his infinite wisdom and grace the thief was led to his faithful follower and the Kings possessions were returned to their rightful place known as Elvis-A-Rama Museum.

Thank you Duke, Thank you very much!

GOTD: Anna Falchi


Monday, November 07, 2005

GOTD: Maria Grazia Cucinotta

October is over and I guess I'll continue to go around the world.
Brazil - check
Sweden - Check
This week let's travel to Italy and hard to pronounce names.


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Deer Season




It was a cold night, almost freezing just outside Bentonville, Arkansas. A thick mist was settling on the country side and the Steelers were nursing a 2 point lead on Monday Night Football, but something smelt in the air, a pungent odor, not quite right. Mr. Goldsberry felt restless and uneasy. He got up from his soft comfortable recliner and thought he might grab a cold Budweiser from the fridge. Where was his wife when she could be of use? Wayne was alone in the house his wife and daughter had left for something he couldn't remember what. He opened the fridge and reached down for the cold beer when he heard a booming crash from his daughter's bedroom. He rushed to his daughter's room. As he turned the corner into the hall there it was, a strong five-point buck. The animal had a crazy look in its eyes. Goldsberry starred the beast down. The buck quickly broke under Wayne's stare and retreated into the master bedroom. Goldsberry meandered into the room to confront the wild animal adrenalin coursing thru his veins, his heart pounding firm in his chest as he prepared to face the buck. The animal saw Goldsberry and went frantic jumping to and over Wayne's bed searching relentless for a way out.
The Buck looked like he was going to have to face the man. This older balding man had no weapons and he had an impressive weapon sitting the top his head. Many foes were going to meet him one day in battle and he would defeat them all. Slowly the beast gained confidence as realized he could take this soft human. There was no other choice anyway if he was going to escape and spread his seed. He would have to go through this pathetic excuse for a creature.
The two males faced off looking for a weakness desperate for an edge. Without warning the two crashed into each other at astounding speed. In the initial struggle the man had somehow took hold of the great bucks antlers, but the deer was two strong and broke free kicking the man in the abdomen. "Fuck", shouted Wayne. He was taking long ragged breathes his ribs felt like someone and taken a sledge hammer to them and every breathe felt like fire. His body couldn't take much more of this punishment. Wayne surveyed the situation and to his surprise saw an opportunity.
Leaping for the young buck Wayne caught hold of it's neck. A smile etched across his tired worn face. Forgetting all about his aches and the pain pulsating thru his body the buck kicked and thrashed frantically, urgently trying to break the hold fighting for release, fighting for it’s life. Goldsberry was too strong and too motivated, however the beast was going nowhere.
The young buck knew its days were over he would never see a doe again. With one last thrust a crack resonated in the air and the house went quiet. In the woods there was no hooting and the coyotes no longer howled. Goldsberry was victorious as he fell to his knees his opponents neck broken bleeding from the nose. A few minutes later he heard the gravel crunch as his wife and daughter pulled into the drive.
Mrs. Goldsberry was arriving late from town as she pulled into the drive. She and her daughter had been out shopping. She climbed out of the big SUV and called Wayne to help them take in today's haul. What was wrong with that man, I swear if his sitting on his ass drinking a beer! Forget it she thought they could take it in. She enter the house and noticed Wayne was not in his old worn out recliner that she begged him to get rid of. Her Daughter yelled out Dad! No answer came and she got a little worried, things did not feel right so she hollered out her husbands name. Thinking he must have gotten drunk again and passed out on the bed. She went to check the bedroom and noticed the door open and thought about telling him a thing or two when she looked in and screamed!
Wayne heard the screaming and slowly looked up; both his daughter and wife were standing there yelling. The deer laid dead, still in his arms. Wayne's arms maintained there firm hold around the poor beasts neck. Warm red blood was continuing to ooze from the previously healthy buck's mouth mixing in with his sweat. Blood was spattered everywhere and on everything at first Mrs. Goldsberry thought her husband dead. When she noticed it was the deer that was bleeding slowly she let out a sigh of relief. "What's going on?" she asked. Mr. Goldsberry smiled and replied "Thought we'd have some veal tomorrow. Oh, Could you hand me a beer?"

Obviously most of this is total bullshit, but I did read that a Wayne Goldsberry in Bentonville Arkansas wrestled a deer in his house and broke it's neck. The details were supplied by my imagination and poor grammar.

GOTD: Sexy Indian


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Health Patriot




How do you fight and prevent a massive outbreak of the flu? This is one of the many questions our President is asking. With a single word our man can answer any great dilemma. What is that word? Well to ask that you must be a yankee, but that's OK I forgive you. The word my friend is "Strategery".

Many people around my office are getting sick and I feel a little cough coming on. What should I do? I just follow this brilliant "Strategery" and everything will be okay.

"America has this tough-it-out strategy when you get sick," White House spokesman Trent Duffy said. "You aren't helping yourself or the country going to work when you get ill. You are potentially threatening a greater health issue if you send children to school when they are sick."

So many people want to blame Bush for Iraq, the economy, or a stumped toe. I want to thank you Mr. President, for looking after my health. I feel a cough coming on and it's my patriotic duty to take off work!

GOTD: Red Headed Cowgirl

Yee-Haw it's another cowgirl!