Thursday, December 29, 2005

GOTD: DDD Brandy

X-Box 360 and a box of Coal

He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when your a awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good.
and he'll get you with a prank.

NO. Not Aston Kutcher he's a bitch. I'm talking about my new hero. This Dad from Kansas City who put an ad on Criag's list. Whatever the hell that is. This story is making it's rounds on the net, I found it on my favorite gadget site Gizmodo. There seems to be lots of negative about a positive event.

Selling My Kid's XBox 360--$100

My kid has been an absolute terror for the last month. He has been demanding more and more from my wife while constantly pestering us to give him his X-box 360 so he can play it. Last night was the last straw when he kicked my $2000 stereo system after I refused to give it to him early.

It is an X-box 360 system. It has the console, harddrive, a couple of cables, and some sort of little headset or something.

So we have decided to get some revenge this Christmas. I will need to keep the box.

To purchase this system, you must be able to pick it up at my house or at work during normal hours. Call in advance so I can get the wife to take the kid out for a drive or distract him downstairs.

I am asking $100 cash. I will also need you to bring a bag of charcoal so I can fill the box up with. Let me stress again that you will get the full contents of the box-the 360, controller, headset, those cords, etc. YOU WILL NOT GET THE BOX, as we will need it along with the charcoal for a little x-mas surprise.

I would prefer that this goes to a kid who deserves it and treats his mom nice, but I will sell it to anybody just to get rid of it. If nobody buys this by christmas eve, I will just go and toss the contents of the box in a dumpster.

I don't know if this is real or not, but in my heart of hearts I hope so. So here is a kick in the ass you ungrateful little shit!

Monday, December 26, 2005

GOTD: Marina Matsushima

Let's bring in the new year with big boobs!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Looter Claus is Cuming to Town!

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Looter Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's mom is naughty and nice
Looter Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Looter Claus is coming to town
Looter Claus is coming to town

Monday, December 19, 2005

Pool Boy Claus

Another screwed up christmas picture thanks to fark lighting my imagination. Go here to see other ideas. The pic can be clicked for a larger image.

Tag Team

Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse the Body Venture walk out of time to help me with today's post.

AAAAAANNNNNNDDD in this corner it's the Alfredo "Scareface" and his son the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF MILAUKEEEEEEEEEE, THE HERNANDEZ'SSSSSSSS!!!!!

MG: The Hernadez's are a real class act Jessie, but they may be rusty they haven't seen a whole lot of action lately.

JV: Look here come the challengers now. They are a mysterious pair dressed in black. They must be luchadors with those black masks on, Mean Gene.

MG: I don't think so, look how they sneak up those stairs. I think they are going to try and take them by surprise. That just despicable Jesse.

JV: You do what you have to win, Mean Gene. I'm liking these challengers already.

MG: He's pulling something out of his pants Jesse!

JV: I don't want to know about your Saturday nights, Mean Gene!

MG: Very funnnt Jessie. No look it's a gun, of all the low down dirty tricks!

JV: Looks like the son is going to be out of commission.

MG: Ohhh the dad comes out of nowhere with a flying elbow to the head. That's got to hurt.

JV: That took some guts Mean Gene. Now the old man is wrestling the gun away. Look out the son has started punching the challenger in the face, it's a two on one Mean Gene!

MG: And just look at his partner run, what a coward.

JV: Well it's like Kenny Rogers says Mean Gene, "Sometimes you have to know when to headlock, know when to chair them in the head, and know when to run!"

MG: What's Mr. Hernadez doing with that cheese knife?

JV: Looks like he is stabbing him in the leg Mean Gene. That's why this guys are the champions!
MG: OH NO! The son has a snow shovel in his hands.

JV: The guy is trying to get up and run, Mean Gene. Not a smart move. Ohhhh, and there's the head shot. Nice one! I think that melon's ripe. They must listen to my commentary, Mean Gene!
MG: Here comes the police Jessie. I think this one is just about over.

JV: Look at the challenger whimpering and begging, Mean Gene. "I don't want to be arrested. Don't Let them take me to jail!" Take your time like a man, you cry baby!

MG: Look here comes the elder Hernadez!

JV: What a display of true wrestling fortitude Alferedo!

AH: "Oh yeah, I messed him up! He came in walking and left in a stretcher."

JV: HAHAHAHA. That's what I like to hear!

I would like to thank Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse the Body for helping out, for the real story go here.

GOTD: Santa Babes

Sorry for the delay. I'll see if I can't get a real post in later.

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Secert Life of the Gingerbread Man

The secert lives of the gingerbread men, another Fark idea. Here's is mine check out other peoples here.

Metal Alert - Concert

I heard about a killer show this morning coming to Lubbock, January 20. Tickets go on sale tomorrow!

Theory of a Deadman
10 Years

5 great bands for $25! I've seen Seether every time they've visited the Hub and in 5 or 6 shows they've never put on just a good show, they’ve put on a great show. I've seen Shinedown once before and they killed. I can't wait to listen to them again with the new stuff. I've also seen 10 Years live, they are a young band and I watched them before the release of Wasteland. So we will see how they have matured as perforemers.

So Throw me some metal and let me see where you're at!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Didn't your mom tell you not to put things in your mouth?

So Californians are pro-gecko. Personally, I think the Geico Gecko is an annoying little bastard and deserves what he gets. Apparently California law does not agree. When Derrick Ford of Orange County decided to take up his friends bet and bite the head off a gecko the police were notified and poor Derrick was arrested. Sure he gained ten bucks from a friend who didn't think he would do it, but now he is going to have much worse things in his mouth then a the bloody head of a lizard, thanks to OCPD. There was a time when stupidity would get you scorned or mocked, but now it just gets you arrested.

Speaking of putting things in your mouth. It looks like our little Hilary is growing up. She attended the premire of Eon McKai's Kill Girl Kill 3.

"Hilary arrived with an entourage and sat at the side of the nightclub all night," publicist Sean Carnage told "At one point, Hilary asked two burlesque dancers to come over to her table and they did." The adult news website added “She never mingled with the guests, but did enjoy dinner, drinks and the music."

Hey, it might be innocent, maybe she had problem with those horse veneers of hers and needed some expert tips on the "no teeth" rule. Then again she might just be into big boobed strippers.

GOTD: Santa Babe

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

GOTD: Janelle

Janelle from whatever big brother was on this summer.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Have Yourself a Merry White Trash Christmas

Photoshop a white trash christmas that was the photoshop contest idea on Fark. Go here to see their ideas and you'll also see my contribution. If I get any more time I'll phtoshop some more White Trash Christmas ideas or yours if you want me to.

It's also a wallpaper just click the image for the larger version, right click and set as desktop.

GOTD: Santa's Bitch

We are heading north this month on our mission around the world and so leds head north, far North. The north pole that is, so get some christmas spirit.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stripper Bus

Officers found a 40-foot-long mobile home filled with strippers, bouncers and tailgaters outside Raymond James Stadium before Tampa's game with the Chicago Bears on Sunday. Reported Channel 6 news in Chicago.

A cover charge of $20 was charged to partake in the games inside the pimped out RV. The mobile home was stocked with a disco ball, alcohol, nude strppers, and a pole. In other words someone stole my retirement dream!

GOTD: Andrea Veresova