Thursday, December 29, 2005

GOTD: DDD Brandy

X-Box 360 and a box of Coal

He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when your a awake.
He knows if you've been bad or good.
and he'll get you with a prank.

NO. Not Aston Kutcher he's a bitch. I'm talking about my new hero. This Dad from Kansas City who put an ad on Criag's list. Whatever the hell that is. This story is making it's rounds on the net, I found it on my favorite gadget site Gizmodo. There seems to be lots of negative about a positive event.

Selling My Kid's XBox 360--$100

My kid has been an absolute terror for the last month. He has been demanding more and more from my wife while constantly pestering us to give him his X-box 360 so he can play it. Last night was the last straw when he kicked my $2000 stereo system after I refused to give it to him early.

It is an X-box 360 system. It has the console, harddrive, a couple of cables, and some sort of little headset or something.

So we have decided to get some revenge this Christmas. I will need to keep the box.

To purchase this system, you must be able to pick it up at my house or at work during normal hours. Call in advance so I can get the wife to take the kid out for a drive or distract him downstairs.

I am asking $100 cash. I will also need you to bring a bag of charcoal so I can fill the box up with. Let me stress again that you will get the full contents of the box-the 360, controller, headset, those cords, etc. YOU WILL NOT GET THE BOX, as we will need it along with the charcoal for a little x-mas surprise.

I would prefer that this goes to a kid who deserves it and treats his mom nice, but I will sell it to anybody just to get rid of it. If nobody buys this by christmas eve, I will just go and toss the contents of the box in a dumpster.

I don't know if this is real or not, but in my heart of hearts I hope so. So here is a kick in the ass you ungrateful little shit!

Monday, December 26, 2005

GOTD: Marina Matsushima

Let's bring in the new year with big boobs!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Looter Claus is Cuming to Town!

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Looter Claus is coming to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's mom is naughty and nice
Looter Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Looter Claus is coming to town
Looter Claus is coming to town

Monday, December 19, 2005

Pool Boy Claus

Another screwed up christmas picture thanks to fark lighting my imagination. Go here to see other ideas. The pic can be clicked for a larger image.

Tag Team

Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse the Body Venture walk out of time to help me with today's post.

AAAAAANNNNNNDDD in this corner it's the Alfredo "Scareface" and his son the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF MILAUKEEEEEEEEEE, THE HERNANDEZ'SSSSSSSS!!!!!

MG: The Hernadez's are a real class act Jessie, but they may be rusty they haven't seen a whole lot of action lately.

JV: Look here come the challengers now. They are a mysterious pair dressed in black. They must be luchadors with those black masks on, Mean Gene.

MG: I don't think so, look how they sneak up those stairs. I think they are going to try and take them by surprise. That just despicable Jesse.

JV: You do what you have to win, Mean Gene. I'm liking these challengers already.

MG: He's pulling something out of his pants Jesse!

JV: I don't want to know about your Saturday nights, Mean Gene!

MG: Very funnnt Jessie. No look it's a gun, of all the low down dirty tricks!

JV: Looks like the son is going to be out of commission.

MG: Ohhh the dad comes out of nowhere with a flying elbow to the head. That's got to hurt.

JV: That took some guts Mean Gene. Now the old man is wrestling the gun away. Look out the son has started punching the challenger in the face, it's a two on one Mean Gene!

MG: And just look at his partner run, what a coward.

JV: Well it's like Kenny Rogers says Mean Gene, "Sometimes you have to know when to headlock, know when to chair them in the head, and know when to run!"

MG: What's Mr. Hernadez doing with that cheese knife?

JV: Looks like he is stabbing him in the leg Mean Gene. That's why this guys are the champions!
MG: OH NO! The son has a snow shovel in his hands.

JV: The guy is trying to get up and run, Mean Gene. Not a smart move. Ohhhh, and there's the head shot. Nice one! I think that melon's ripe. They must listen to my commentary, Mean Gene!
MG: Here comes the police Jessie. I think this one is just about over.

JV: Look at the challenger whimpering and begging, Mean Gene. "I don't want to be arrested. Don't Let them take me to jail!" Take your time like a man, you cry baby!

MG: Look here comes the elder Hernadez!

JV: What a display of true wrestling fortitude Alferedo!

AH: "Oh yeah, I messed him up! He came in walking and left in a stretcher."

JV: HAHAHAHA. That's what I like to hear!

I would like to thank Mean Gene Okerlund and Jesse the Body for helping out, for the real story go here.

GOTD: Santa Babes

Sorry for the delay. I'll see if I can't get a real post in later.

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Secert Life of the Gingerbread Man

The secert lives of the gingerbread men, another Fark idea. Here's is mine check out other peoples here.

Metal Alert - Concert

I heard about a killer show this morning coming to Lubbock, January 20. Tickets go on sale tomorrow!

Theory of a Deadman
10 Years

5 great bands for $25! I've seen Seether every time they've visited the Hub and in 5 or 6 shows they've never put on just a good show, they’ve put on a great show. I've seen Shinedown once before and they killed. I can't wait to listen to them again with the new stuff. I've also seen 10 Years live, they are a young band and I watched them before the release of Wasteland. So we will see how they have matured as perforemers.

So Throw me some metal and let me see where you're at!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Didn't your mom tell you not to put things in your mouth?

So Californians are pro-gecko. Personally, I think the Geico Gecko is an annoying little bastard and deserves what he gets. Apparently California law does not agree. When Derrick Ford of Orange County decided to take up his friends bet and bite the head off a gecko the police were notified and poor Derrick was arrested. Sure he gained ten bucks from a friend who didn't think he would do it, but now he is going to have much worse things in his mouth then a the bloody head of a lizard, thanks to OCPD. There was a time when stupidity would get you scorned or mocked, but now it just gets you arrested.

Speaking of putting things in your mouth. It looks like our little Hilary is growing up. She attended the premire of Eon McKai's Kill Girl Kill 3.

"Hilary arrived with an entourage and sat at the side of the nightclub all night," publicist Sean Carnage told "At one point, Hilary asked two burlesque dancers to come over to her table and they did." The adult news website added “She never mingled with the guests, but did enjoy dinner, drinks and the music."

Hey, it might be innocent, maybe she had problem with those horse veneers of hers and needed some expert tips on the "no teeth" rule. Then again she might just be into big boobed strippers.

GOTD: Santa Babe

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

GOTD: Janelle

Janelle from whatever big brother was on this summer.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Have Yourself a Merry White Trash Christmas

Photoshop a white trash christmas that was the photoshop contest idea on Fark. Go here to see their ideas and you'll also see my contribution. If I get any more time I'll phtoshop some more White Trash Christmas ideas or yours if you want me to.

It's also a wallpaper just click the image for the larger version, right click and set as desktop.

GOTD: Santa's Bitch

We are heading north this month on our mission around the world and so leds head north, far North. The north pole that is, so get some christmas spirit.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stripper Bus

Officers found a 40-foot-long mobile home filled with strippers, bouncers and tailgaters outside Raymond James Stadium before Tampa's game with the Chicago Bears on Sunday. Reported Channel 6 news in Chicago.

A cover charge of $20 was charged to partake in the games inside the pimped out RV. The mobile home was stocked with a disco ball, alcohol, nude strppers, and a pole. In other words someone stole my retirement dream!

GOTD: Andrea Veresova

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


A judge in FOND DU LAC, Wis. is forcing people caught urinating in public to write signed letters of apology that are published in the local newspaper. So...

"I am incredibly sorry that I whipped it out and pissed on the wall. Even though it's not might fault I was conceived in a barn and raised in the country. It is my fault that I got trashed and decided to piss on the sidewalk. I also apologize for embarrassing your fine city's young men, but they do grow them bigger in Texas."

-Big D

GOTD: Evelyn Lory

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

GOTD: Adriana Sklenarikova

The 6'1 beauty from Slovakia is a model for Victoria Secert and if you don't drool watching her in that wonder bra something's wrong with you.

Monday, November 28, 2005

GOTD: Kyla Cole

While we're in the area let's go over to the Slovak Republic and take a look at Kyla Cole.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

GOTD: Sylvia Saint

I've got a couple of wallpapers for you today of Sylvia Saint the porn star beauty form the Czech Republic.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Movie Mix

Crazy Dan gave me this idea on his last post at Accidental Goat Sodomy. He posted a photo-shopped picture of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire combined with the Denver Broncos. I did the same thing combining the top four grossing movies of the weekend with a few news headlines I found today. Why the top four? I ran out of ideas for the fifth. I plan on sleeping late tomorrow so the GOTD will be late. In the meantime enjoy these pics, I had fun doing them.

You can click on them for a larger version.

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire mixed with the Vatican's statement about no openly gay priests.

2. Walk the Line mixed with the youngest mayor.

3. Chicken Little mixed with Michael Moore. Not really news, I just don't like Michael Moore.

4. Derailed mixed with the Eagles latest loss.

If you like these and feel you want to steal one. Go ahead, I don't mind. I think my favorite is Derailed.

GOTD: Petra Nemcova

Today the beauty for the Czech Republic is Petra Nemcova. The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit / Victoria Secret Model that survived the tsunami is incredible.

Monday, November 21, 2005

GOTD: Veronika Zemanova

I finally got around to updating the WTR Wallpaper site. I kept putting it off until later and then it took
forever to do. It is done though and I changed it up. Instead of one page you have category's to browse. This will make it easier to find your favorite and it will decrease load time. Hopefully, I will add some extra wallpapers sometimes this week seeing how I have the enitre week off. Now on to business. This weeks girls are from the Czech Republic and what a week this is going to be. I've found 10 beautiful women so I'm not even sure what who I will use. What I don't use I will post at WTR Wallpaper site.

Today it's Veronika Zemanova

Thursday, November 17, 2005

GOTD: Cristina Rus

Sorry, I was a little rushed this morning as I did not want to get up. This is the first oppurtunity I have had to post the GOTD. Hopefully, it's not a disappointment.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


I read that GQ, the metrosexual magazine for pussies, has named Jennifer Aniston man of the year. You read that right a woman was named MAN of the year. WTF? They said it was because she demonstrated calm, pose and grace during her breakup with Pitt. This is a mens magazine if the person of the year had to be one those morons should it not be Pitt for dumping a plain looking Aniston for and uber hot crazyass bitch like Angelina Jolie. Look at the pluses here;

  • Jolie beautiful eyes.
  • Jolie luscious lips.
  • Jolie better ass.
  • Jolie bigger tits.
    Jolie has curves.
  • Jolie is bisexual.
  • Actually has been in movies worth watching.

Jolie will not get pissed if you bring another woman to bed, hell she probably invited them. Although, I did Photoshop the 5 0'clock shadow doesn't it look like it belongs?


Here is an update on a post I did awhile back on the spanking strippers. The dancers and manager pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct ending a case in which a loser filed a complaint after he was spanked with a big wooden paddle on his birthday.

The spankings which cost $25 dollars are no longer offered at the club and the paddle was ordered to be destroyed. The Prosecutor, Larry Jegley, had this to say; "We suggest cake and ice cream parties for birthdays in the future," only if I get to lick the icing off the stripper, Larry.

GOTD: Spicy

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Japanese Basketball

Those crazy Japanese and their crazy... Pedophilia. Eight girls from Ehime Prefecture claim the former coach of their local basketball team made them run naked as punishment. He also hit them on the head, and half the students have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I'm sure they are, I've seen enough Hentai to know what goes on in those Japanese schools. What with all the tentacled creatures and the horned demons, but that's another story. The 49-year-old coach defended himself by saying this;

"I did make them take off their pants, but I did not make them naked. It was to infuse fighting spirit in them to win a competition and I did not consider them as sexual objects."

Fighting spirit not perverted sexual objects? Okay, I'll buy that. NOT.

GOTD: Andreea Raicu

Monday, November 14, 2005

Old Drunken Bastards

Call the Irish what you will; drunkens, ginger-pubes, Leprechauns, potato eaters, family... but I can't deny this brilliant idea. A nursing home in Dublin added a Pub to it's facilities. This instantly increased moral among it's elderly patrons and also added more visits from their children.

Cheers to all you old bastards!