Monday, October 16, 2006

A Prayer for the Stressed

Happy Boss's Day, here is a little prayer I like to recite when I get a little stressed at work.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.
Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me always to give 100% at work...
12% on Monday,
23%on Tuesday,
40% on Wednesday,
20% on Thursday, and
5% on Friday.
Help me to remember...
When I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only four to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Angry Joyce’s Hilarity

Angry Joyce is well a smart ass. I’m not saying that in a bad or mocking manner more of an honorary title. Angry Joyce started working a the local grocery store a few weeks ago and this morning I stopped in to grab me a few snacks for work. Mmmm cupcakes….. Anyway there was this lady and her son maybe he was like 9 checking out. The little kid was acting like a monkey or something. I don’t know I was in the snack isle. When I heard Angry Joyce say “Hey, Stop acting like you daddy!” This was funny in itself but what the kid said next…. “My daddy doesn’t live with us anymore.” The store went silent. Until the little kid spoke again, “He has a new girlfriend and she is seeeexxxxyyyy.”

Laughing at others misfortune, I knew it was going to be a good day.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Texas Gubernatorial Debate

I missed the Texas Gubernatorial Debate Friday, but I found on the Dallas morning news site. Here is the link. There is only one debate this year because Gov. Rick Perry is a tool. Which is sad because I'm republican. The candidates include Chris Bell the democratic nominee, current Gov. Rick Perry and two indents Carole Strayhorn and Kinky Freidman. I have no idea whom I going to vote for now. I was leaning toward Kinky because he is a kooky guy, but the Internet is Satan comment took me out of his camp. Kinky you wacky dumbass!Chris Bell sounded OK, but I don't know just another standard politician. Strayhorn sounded like a moron not knowing the president of Mexico and how many slogans does she have? It was like a bad comic with all those one-liners. I'm torn. I don't like Perry he is owned by too many people, Strayhorn changes her mind more then her underwear, Kinky is a loon and Chris bell is a standard Democrat with no real ideas. Texas is fucked for another 4 years!

A Political ad you won't see on TV.

The director of scary movie David Zucker mad an AD for the GOP but the republicans are being pussies and not showing it . It’s pretty funny too. Check it out.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Heartless - Bad Doctor

This discribes my mood pretty well, amazing how a German Band and Hentai can do that.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Night in the Woods

The story begins as most stories do, with a little white lie. It took me hours to find the perfect spot out the pasture and it was a beautiful cubby surrounded by lush mesquite trees and the sweet smell of the cactus blooms gave the little spot a more romantic atmosphere. Phred was supposed to be showing up in about an hour and I was rushed to make sure that everything was perfect. I covered the hard ground with a soft blanket and placed dozens of cottony pillows over the blanket to make our special spot more comfortable and relaxing. The only problem with my plan was that unbeknownst to me Phred would not be showing up, see Phred learned though Big D and Fuzz that there was no hunting trip and that I was just trying to lure him up their alone. Hours went by and Phred did not show up so I began to drink some Natural Light that I had iced down for Phred and me. I was beginning to think that something had happened to him and maybe he did not understand the directions I gave him and got lost. As I began to get up off a particularly soft pillow I heard footsteps coming my way. They were pretty loud footsteps but I merely thought that Phred had gained some weight and he is a bit flat footed so I did not really think much of the loud footsteps. Out of the darkness stepped up a creature that’s chest rivaled that of infamous David Hasselholf, never had I seen a hairier chest. Only on closer observation I noticed two tiny breasts.

Would You Like To Hear The Rest Of The Story?