Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Another Photoshop

Enjoy you vaction when I knock you out of teh playoffs.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Moves like...

I think I would prefer them to replace the work Jagger to Jaga. Jaga is much more awesome than Jagger. Just saying.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Fantasy Football

It is time for Fantasy Football and being the thief that I am, I found the perfect name for my team. Portman Kunis United. I understand this is a soccer team name but I thought it was awesome. A soccor team in Dallas Texas created the idea and have some gear if you want to buy it. Just clink this link.

Friday, March 04, 2011

The News That Rocks

"A U.S. man high on methamphetamine drove with his wife on the hood of their minivan for more than 40 miles, hitting speeds of 100 mph, according to police." I just can't help but imagine the guy yelling, "hang on darlin' they gots a sale at the Wal-Mart."

" A banana peel, the torment of many a cartoon character, has allegedly becomethe real life down fall of a woman in California. Ida Valintine, 58 is suing the 99 Cent Store where she slipped." I am getting really tired of hearing about people suing for their stupidity. This is not even a wet floor just watch where you are going and this would have been prevented. I hope she broke her hip.

Saving Abel

Saving Able is coming to town so put on your party dress and don't forget the combat boots cause its time for a hoe down.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Tips From A Trannie

by Zaquarius Nicole
The No. 1 rule for enjoyable anal sex is to always use plenty of lube. Rarely should your penis be the first thing to enter her ass when it comes to having anal sex. Get her prepared by using your tongue and your fingers on the area first. Pregnancy may not be an issue when it comes to anal sex, but you should always wear a condom in order to prevent STD transmission. It is really in your best interest to make sure she enjoys herself, since even one bad anal incident can put her off for life.

Musical Friday

I noticed that as long as the blog as been up there was really never an ongoing section that played music. For the frist Musical Friday I thought we would start out a little bit mellow and listen to a song praising two of my favorite things. Titties and beer.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Bathroom Art

I can not help but love bathroom art and really the only type of poetry I like is usually found on bathroom stalls so when a friend emailed me this pic I just had to share it. Before smart phones the only thing to do in a public bathroom was sit there and wait for the magic to happen and if you were lucky some generous soul poured out his feelings on the wall and by that I mean they wrote/drew on the bathroom stall.I really don't want to think about what else might be on the walls. Usually is it just something about some one's mother or some ex-girlfriends phone number but occasionally you get some really good stuff, things that have become classics and the only poetry most people know.

Here I sit in clouds of vapor
Someone stole the toilet paper.
How much longer must I linger
Before I'm forced to use my finger?

Here is sit all broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

There was an old man from Nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He once said with a grin,
as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls

Fuck me suck me,
make me bleed.
Kinky sex,
is what i need.

I was here but now i'm not
I sat right here and smoked some pot,
I'm writing this to make a point,
Lifes a bitch so smoke a joint

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Not for Children

It has been awhile since I have posted anything so I am going to start with something simple and memorable as it is something I would like to save as an interesting story in the future.

While being escorted through a home to see a child the mother was talking to me and I noticed that when we got into her bedroom she became suddenly quite and went to her baby and took something out of the child's mouth. I was watching while she did this and saw what appeared to be something strange in the child's mouth. I thought maybe I was just seeing things but I asked the lady to see what she had taken out of the child's mouth. It turns out it was a butt plug.