I rock and now I'm trying to share some of my rockage with you. I'm generous that way!
Monday, October 31, 2005
GOTD: Cowgirl
Friday, October 28, 2005
Gansta and Geek Collide
So last wizzle while i was crazy ass busy some schools had a major network change. tha chillin' service provida they use was clockin' ip addresses on tha main proxy crazy ass nigga yaba daba dizzle. i wizzill not name tha schools at tha risk of mah job. this change tizzy place on a friday brotha three o clock n of course not one of tha technology thugz stayed ta makes sure it was going ta wizzle cuz this is how we do it. obviously it did not wizzy coz changes needed ta be made in they routa n on all tha computa. i maintain they routa n found pusha a change i mizzy fo` tha new network i could not remote into some of tha schools, while brotha worked n' shit. i tried ta C-to-tha-izzall them n no one was there coz they dont care it's firday! wizzell i dizzle care a whole lot brotha way if they network works or not, especially if they aint going ta be there ta hizzelp.
Wizzy i git a call from a certain schools consultant `bout an hour baller n he said "i cant git ta they serva is it down?" D-to-tha-izzuh, dumbass everyth'n is dizzown n you knew `bout this change three weeks before i did . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. he tells me he wizzay git a hold of someone ta reload tha shot calla. wizzy no one is there ta reload tha poser n he tells me they have a class tomorrow. i tizzle him, "-W-to-tha-izzell you playa git someone ta shutdown that routa before we close at five if you need me ta do blingin' tha technology coordizzles lady tizzle calls n tells me she aint in ghetto n had taken tha day off. wizzell bootylicious job on plann'n thiznat, i dizzle think she is competent enough ta do her jizzob, but i know tha otha arent n shit. she thizzen tells me she wizzay be in tomorrow n will give me a C-to-tha-izzall T-H-to-tha-izzen keep'n it real yo. i T-to-tha-izzell her im off on saturdays n if she needed mah assistance we would hizzle ta charge our overtime rates . Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin'. she did not like this n so no saturday class . Throw yo guns in the motherfuckin air.
Monday i came in n they were still not ridin' but all tha otha schools that had problems were work'n hustla a reload fo all my homies in the pen. so i gizzy her a call on her cizzell, she tells me she had reset tha baller on saturday, i knew she had not reloaded it would hizzy worked, but she would hizzle someone at tha schoo` do it as she was out tha office again if you gots a paper stack. so, i git a C-to-tha-izzall fizzy a schoo` adminizzles n he reloaded tha bitch n it was S-T-to-tha-izzill was not work'n. i T-to-tha-izzell him i wizzy makes a trizzip down there n takes care of it . Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. when i show up he unlocks tha room n lets me in. right off i see tha problem n C-to-tha-izzant hizzay but laugh fo yo bitch ass. now let me pause n tizzy you this coordizzles takes care of they network n teaches cisco rout'n, messin' n computa repair. she had labeled tha various equipment wit large tags like you might see in a kindergizzles ROUTER, SERVER, FIREWALL.
Wizzy tha Gangsta label was on tha switch whizzay a dumb bizzay . Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house! I looked over at tha principal n smizzay reached down took off tha label slapped it on tha routa n said "-F-to-tha-izzor future reference this it tha pusha I reloaded n tha internet cam up n worked perfectly . Real niggas recognize the realness.. I dont blame tha homey how was he supposed ta knizzay but tha lady is claim'n ta be a technology professizzles Pleaze! The next day she actually called me n told me tizzy she kniznew what piece of equipment was tha routa, but was just in a hurry n wanted ta makes sure that if sum-m sum-m wizzent wrong someone else would no wizzle ta do. The problem is she was hustla lay'n ta me n tha schoo` adminizzles `bout reload'n tha brotha n weed-smokin' on Saturday or she is a moron, poser way I cam out smell'n like a rose, well maybe not that smizzirk at laugh may have made me look like an ass, but thizzay tha only true way ta tiznell if a person knows technology. They is a condescend'n smizzay ass, but it's like I always say "The problem wit being betta tha everyone is thugz tend ta find you pretentious ."
GOTD: Construction
Thursday, October 27, 2005
GOTD: Wal-Mart
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
GOTD: Secretary
Monday, October 24, 2005
GOTD: UPS Delivery Girl
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Sorry Again
Friday, October 21, 2005
GOTD: FRIDAY MADNESS
Thursday, October 20, 2005
The Redneck Life at Phred's World
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Rocky VI
"Lonely and at loose ends, retired boxer Rocky Balboa comes out of retirement, intending to fight a few low-profile local fights just to keep his hand in. But when he's approached to fight a match with reigning heavyweight champ Mason 'The Line' Dixon, Rocky's modest little comeback becomes the center of a media firestorm."
You thought I was joking, but this actually the premise of the movie. Some of you might have guessed it was authentic as there are no spelling or grammatical errors in the first paragraph.
Monday, October 17, 2005
In the News
We all know the media like to exaggerate and stretch the truth. Well a today show correspondent was caught. In this picture correspondent Michelle Kosinski, was reporting on the floods in New Jersey and decided to use a canoe for "dramatic effect". Her in depth report was then ruined when two bastards walked between her and the camera showing the actual flooding depth.
File this under NO SHIT!
You said you needed a fifty?
In a paper titled Toward an Understanding of the Economics of Charity: Evidence from a Field Experiment. This brilliant deduction was discovered."This study develops theory and uses a door-to-door fundraising field experiment to explore the economics of charity. We approached nearly 5000 households, randomly divided into four experimental treatments, to shed light on key issues on the demand side of charitable fundraising. Empirical results are in line with our theory: in gross terms, our lottery treatments raised considerably more money than our voluntary contributions treatments. Interestingly, we find that a one standard deviation increase in female solicitor physical attractiveness is similar to that of the lottery incentive."
What does this mean? It means if you are hot, have large breast, or a smokin' ass men tend to give more money away. Next thing they are going to baffle us with is monetary donations increase when males are intoxicated and looking at cleavage or half naked young women. Maybe I can get a research grant for that study? I called this idea, don't you bastards go stealing my stripper money!
Monday's SuperHeroine
Friday, October 14, 2005
What's in You're White Trash Survival Guide?
- Dale Earnhart Commemorative plaque
- Case of Keystone Light (I'm afriad of the dark.)
- Case of Keystone Ice (Keep's everything cold.)
- Pork Rines
- Eight track and Lynard Skynard
Some might say why do you have Keystone instead of Budweiser? Because Keystone is the cheapest nastiest shit you can buy. Remember this is survival not a vacation at the Holiday Inn!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
CAVERN FLOOR
Dark crimson blood seeped through the cold stony floor in the Cave of Disturbed. Broken and beaten he was sprawled out on the unforgiving cavern floor despair flooding over him, the circle pit was relentless and try as he might nothing could escape it. Far out in the cavern he heard the whisper of laughter. Again he heard the laughter getting closer and closer there was no joy in it, only hatred, horror and soul destroying terror. Crazy Dan groaned on the cold earth he was not afraid but the laugh was beginning to unnerve him, knowing that surely the Brainkin's minions had been alerted that he had abandoned camp and now they would be searching for him as he lay in a pool of his own blood unable to move. The tiny lights in the cavern played tricks on his mind that created blurred images of creatures and impossible shadows that seemed to stalk closer to see if he truly was incapacitated, all this and the steady laughter was enough to make any man lose hope and go insane. Despair clouded his thoughts as he wished that he had never asked :PFuzzbox to accompany him on such a perilous journey. Hopefully the dwarf still lived and could escape. He had no right to ask for help. :PFuzzbox has a wife and family to take care of how could he be so selfish. If he only had decided just to give in and let the Briankin have her way all of this could have been avoided; so what if he would have been only a puppet agreeing with her every little whim at least we would be alive and the clan would still be able to continue. As these doubts plagued him unmercifully a shadow advanced over him and the laughter stopped.
The demon looked down on him with a triumphant smile knowing that the Brainkin would reward her most lavishly, a choice of treasures awaited her with the capture of this one puny male. Bending over the body that lay stark in his own mutilation she shuddered. A rare thing to happen to her considering all that she had seen in her life. He was truely a gruesome site to behold, just a sack of blood and broken bones. Why would such a feeble decrepit man be so important to their leader, unless... he was the one meant to be her bridegroom. He seemed broken and impotent, but this could be the only reason that such a large reward would be placed on him. A wicked smile came to her face no reward would be enough if this was truly the vigorous untamable he-man that the rumors had said he was. She knew of medicines and dark alchemy that could restore his body. Very silently a gurgling whisper escaped the mans lips and she moved closer to hear what he had to say when a slimy liquid splashed her face. Jerking up she wipped the spit off her face it was more blood then anything else, even with all his injuries he was still fearless, in time she could break him and what a ride it would be.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
Who is the Aimless Ranter?
I have been hounded by questions. Who is the Aimless Ranter. Well, after taking up a lead :PFuzzbox and I tracked down rmartini the aimless ranter. He is in fact Derick Estrada, Eric Estrada's estranged gay lovechild. We were able to steal a photo of the seed of Paunch at his first day on the job with his second daddy. And by the look on his face I think somebody needs to call CPS there is some abuse in that happy home!
Monday's Naughty Nurse
Friday, October 07, 2005
Friday's Bad Cop
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Tip Toe thru the Tulips!
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Monday, October 03, 2005
Ouch
Monday's Bad Cop
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Anti-Housewife Mafia
UPDATE: Forget the seprate links. I created a webring if you'd link to join. E-mail me at donaldmc79@yahoo.com or tell me your e-mail address in the coments.