Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday the 13th

It's Friday the 13th and just like you would expect the freaks are out and the odd news is running amok. Amok? Ummmm, anyway. What story to post?

Should it be about Paul Stanley's hip replacement? There are so many jokes I can use to laugh at the middle aged and almost elderly Kiss fans.

Possibly the story of the white supremacist carjacker from Dallas whose mom called and threatened to kill his victims if they pressed charges. Again lots of jokes can be had. Maybe one about experiencing a little dark meat in prison.

I could voice my opinion on the moronic Pat Robinson, but it looks like Israel just cost him about 50 million in revenue so karma is doing that for me. Thanks Earl!

No friends it's Friday the 13th only the best story will do and for that story we go to Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey has entered the gubernatorial race under the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party ticket. Mr. Sharkey is not a mere pagan my friends, but a true life vampyre. Yes, Amazing! The impaler said "Unlike other candidates, I'm not going to hide my evil side." And why should you? His platform includes tax breaks for farmers, emphases on education, and more benefits for veterans. He also supports the impaling of terrorist, rapist, and other criminals on the steps of the capital. What exactly does the term "other criminals" mean? I'm not sure, but I think jay walkers may be included. I would also like to include people who use cell phones in theaters, restaurants, bathrooms, or while driving. Why not just include anyone who annoys me. Now that is a sovereign policy. Although this newest candidate worships Satan and calls the Lord his "Mortal Enemy" he has nothing against Christians and thinks that everyone enjoys watching an old fashion impaling. TOO TRUE! Mr. Sharkey served in the air force, but was forced to leave after a parachuting accident. No idea if he landed on his head, but I would think that was a given.

4 comments:

:P fuzzbox said...

The modern day Vlad would get my vote. Cheap entertainment can be hard to come by.

phred said...

Very phunny.
Last night on CMT, a story about when Hillary Clinton critized Tammy Wynette for her song '' Stand By Your Man ''. Really. True story.

phred said...

PS. That had nothing to do with Fri. 13.
Just another '' Stupid '' story.

Crazy Dan said...

Double True