Monday, January 16, 2006

The Weekend News Update

This weekends news was filled with perverts. Right alongside the freaks the perverts also decided to pop up their... ummmmm... heads and enjoy the air that accompanied Friday the 13th.

The first story we will start with comes from yet another freak in Minnesota. Ya'll are starting to scare me, seriously I think it's time you threw some beatings the freaks way. 22-year-old Joshua Adam Gardner, who was convicted of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct in 2003 decided for his good behavior the last several month to "tour" the local school. Adam thought it would also be grand to pretend to be a member of a royal family in Europe. Prince Caspian James Chrichton Stuart the Fourth to be exact. He was no doubt having a sweet time until a student on the school paper found the pervert's picture on a sex offender site. The principal of the school says there is no indication that he bothered anyone. I believe a cure for this problem has been found. It's called Potassium Chloride the toxic agent in the lethal injections, we occasional use it here in Texas.

Rev. Lonnie Latham, 60, senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church who vehemently opposed homosexuality and preached against the topic was arrested for a single misdemeanor count of offering to engage in an act of lewdness. What was the act of lewdness? That would be offering an undercover police officer a blow job. Yes, Rev. Latham loves the cock! Latham has spoken out against same-sex marriage and in support of a directive urging the group's 42,000 churches to befriend gays and lesbians and try to convince them they can become heterosexual "if they accept Jesus Christ as their savior and reject their 'sinful, destructive lifestyle." Looks like that did work so well did it Lonnie. In another surprising twist who comes to Lonnies aid? The church, his parishioners, perhaps? No, on both counts, it was the ACLU to the rescue. This has to have the church really steaming. The church and the ACLU have always been on opposite sides of almost every issue, but who else is going to help a cock smoking pastor in the south? After his arrest, Latham resigned from his church, the board of directors of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma and the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention. "The Supreme Court has made it clear that consenting adults are free to do what they wish in the privacy of their own homes, If you follow the logic of the Oklahoma City police, everyone who tries to pick someone up at a bar is a criminal." said an ACLU attorney. Oklahoma County District Attorney, Wes Lane responded saying Oklahoma law prohibits a person from offering to engage in a lewd act "regardless of whether money is sought for or engaged." It's like we Texans have said for years, the only reason Texas doesn't fall into the Gulf of Mexico is Oklahoma sucks! Now we just know what they suck.


Crazy Dan said...

Oklahoma loves the tasste of a man.

:P fuzzbox said...

Just another Okie cocksucker huh. But seriously I have some good friends from Oklahoma. Just not that good.