For some reason lately I've been listening to whiny alternative bands. I don't really know why I'm doing this, but I have been enjoying it. Some of the bands I've been listeng to our Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romances, The Used, Local H, and Coheed and Cambria. Surgar, We're going Down by Fall Out Boy is stuck in my head right now. Thus the title for today's blog was born.
Strange News / Celebrity Crap:
A drunk man who fought with a bear in a zoo in Ukraine has been seriously injured. I will translate the conversation and events leading up to this fiasco. It sounded like something like a redneck would do so that's the translation except I replaced Bubba with Comrade, enjoy.
Drunk 1: Hey, ya know what sounds like a good ider? Going to the Zoo and getting shit faced.
Drunk 2: Sweet, That'll better then getting fucked up on the couch.
Drunk 1: Hells Yeah, Let's go visit us some monkeys!
Drunk 2: Check this out I'ma totally going to give these monkeys some shit.
Drunk 1: Comrade, he gave you some shit! And some monkey cum to the face too. HAHAHA
Drunk 2: Fuck these monkeys, Comrade. (wiping monkey shit and cum from his face) Let's go somewheres else.
Drunk 1: Comrade, those Monkeys kicked your ass!
Drunk 2: They did not! I can beat any stupid animals ass!
Drunk 1: You're a pussy, Comrade. Anything can whip your ass.
Drunk 2: Watch this I'll go open up a can 'O' whoop ass on that bear.
Drunk 1: Go far it Comrade!
Drunk 2: C'mere ya stupid bear, I'm gonna kick your ass, AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Drunk 1: HAHAHAHA Comrade that bear is... is... comrade?
Awww, rednecks. I can picture that like a little movie in my head. They breed to fast to become extinct, but bless them they try all the same.
You have to watch out for tricky mullet wearing, GED failing, NASCAR watching, tattooed white trash as the police in Minot, North Dakota found out. The police surrounded a trailer home the man then apparently tunneled his way out and called a cab from a nearby filling station. When Swat showed up to bust in he was already gone.
A 51-year-old man was arrested Wednesday for using his cell phone to take pictures up women's skirts at a Wal-Mart store. WAL-MART! DUMBASS there aren't any high class hotties at Wal-Mart. Maybe if granny panties turned you on. You need to find a new venue, maybe the Gap or Abercrombie and Finch.
Woman grows penis, men no longer needed.
An elderly man (73) is accused of pinning a sheriff's deputy against a Wal-Mart produce stand with his motorized wheelchair and trying to take his gun. So, I see the revultion has started.
Movies/DVDs:
Bruse Campbell (Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, Bubba Ho-Tep) is making a new movie. "In the Fall I'm going to start a new film for Dark Horse comics, a cool company set in Portland, they're making movies now. It's an untitled Bruce Campbell movie where I play myself. It's about a small town that is having problems with a monster and nothing's working so somebody suggests let's get the Evil Dead guy. Unfortunately, in reality I don't own a gun, I've never used a chainsaw and more die then before I got there." That's exactly what I suggest anytime a crazy
mutant, space alien, or just plain annoying loser bothers me, because hey Bruce Campbell can kick anyone ass. To bad the city councils never listens to my request.
Girl of the Day:
My favorite girl from Las Vegas Nikki Cox.
Blog Quote:
I get to use another Bruce Campbell Quote today. I love when I get an excuse to do this.
Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
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