Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hump Day

The Emmy's must be hard up for ratings doing an American Idol spoof. Yes, Emmy Idol is going to blow you're fucking mind! That's right, classics such as the theme to Star Trek and Green Acres are going to pumping out that high def sound system as your ears are treated to duets with William Shatner and Opera star Frerica Von Stade or Donald Trump and Megan Mullally. And lets not count out the Jeffersons theme sung by Macy Gray and Gary Dourdan of CSI. So pop in that hearing aid and get the Kleenex out because the stars are singing!

And the stupid get... well, they just stay stupid I guess. Again I have to mention the art of planning. Yes, planning. When about to do any kind of criminal activity it's important to plan the event. Again the crucial step of getting a getaway vehicle is over looked as two imbeciles decide to steal a washing machine. Carl T. Bosanquet, 41, of Hollingworth Close, Walton, and Stanley Alan Kellie, 34, of Roughdale Close, Liverpool, learned this lesson the hard way as police found them carry a stolen washing machine. The police apprehended the two thieves while they were loading the cumbersome appliance unto a train. To top it off the police did not even help the poor bastards unload it.

And the white trash keep getting trashier... Yes, Britney Spears upcoming mullet wearing hellspawn's name is now in limbo. Both Spears and Federline (like he has a say) want to name the baby after their favorite party town. Spears is wanting to name the little spawn London, but Kevin wants to name it Vegas. I think it should be named Florida as they have the highest ratio of mobile homes and trailer parks. Considering I have just as much imput as Mr. Federline I think it's a solid choice.

Crocus, a 2-foot pet alligator escaped from his backyard enclosure, but was captured by Nicki Hilliard and several friends when saw the animal swimming in the Allegheny River. Hilliard said she learned how to catch the animals safely by watching the television show "Crocodile Hunter." It's like Brodie in Mallrats said "When will kids learn to fear and respect the escalator?" Maybe some of these mommy bloggers think it's cute for their nine year old to wrestle alligators, but when she makes it on this blog as a Darwin award winner don't complain. You should have put down your Bon Bons picked up the remote and used your fat stubby little chocolate covered fingers to turn the channel.

The blame for anorexia has to be put on someone. I think that someone is Skeletor. The villainous Skeletor was a cult classic facing the gay butch He-man, it's obvious now that little girls loved Skelator and strive to be like him just look at that pic of Hillary Duff or go to


Crazy Dan said...

I just new that skeletor would come back and reap his revenge on Earth. I see that you too are in league with him. How can you call him gay I mean he banged the hell out of Sheena. It looks like tis up to me to stop your senister plans so beware when I bring the power of GraySkull into your ass. Maybe he man was a little gay but your gonna feel the burn

:P fuzzbox said...

Skeletor rules. But at least they are not emulating his sidekick Evil-Lyn the lesbian ballbreaker of Saturday mornings past.

Master Foley said...

gawd would some one shoot that whale and put her out of her misery
no one wants to see her preggers belly *shudder

Big D said...

But I'm fresh out of harpoons.