Matthew Hattabaugh of Oakland California was sentenced to 5 years in prison for running a fake bank. He persuaded a group of absolute fucking idiots to invest more then $650,000 in his private bank which he ran out of his apartment. Clients were told upon arrival "I'm sorry for the mess, but I've been busy doing... ummm banking stuff. Just move that crap on the couch over and have a seat. Oh, would like some Mac and Cheese?


So ninja's finally made their move in Orange County. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. The ninja robbed employees of the Steak and Shake restaurant after closing about 2am with a small knife. The police seemed surprised the ninja was able to rob several people with only a knife, but as one employee said. It was a fucking Ninja!









I have a love hate relationship with morons. I hate it when the ask me questions, but love it when they do something so inherently stupid you just have to shake your head and laugh about natural selection. When animal lover extraordinaire Stephen Sodones saw a snake on the road just waiting to be run over by an evil gas burning SUV he decided to help the poor creature out. As any three year old knows and Steve just learned snakes bite. Granted it was the low potency venom from a copperhead, but it still managed to bite the retard 3 times. Steve then later visited the ICU and is expected to leave soon.



In celebrity news Eva Longoria was rushed to the hospital after an accident on the set of Desperate Housewives. The accident was caused by hitting her head hard on a desk, while she was under it giving me fellatio. Some media outlets report it was caused by a pole and in a way it was.