Titty Twisters, Knights, and Breast Milk

Parents are trying to turn their kids into whiny ass pussies. It's time for parents to take the titty out of their kid's mouth and let them grow a pair of balls. This weekend I saw on the news that some Florida schools were banning swings, monkey bars, and running on playgrounds. WTF, no running? A few months ago a little girl was suspended in California for doing cartwheels. Now a 15 year old was taken to court for giving a purple nurple. The 15 year is being charged with assault for giving a 13 year old a titty twister. Apparently both boys were at a coffee shop and the 15 year old was probably hitting on a waitress when the 13 year old made a smart as comment. The 15 year old then proceeded to give the 13 year old a titty twister. The lesson here should have been don't fuck with someone bigger or older then you. Instead the lesson became I can sue you if you're mean to me. The 13 year old boy will one day learn the valuable lesson of keeping your mouth shut if you can't take the consequences, but instead of being a harmless purple nurple or wedgies as a kid, it will be a bloody broken mess in a hospital bed. Parents can try and protect their kids from natural selection, but eventually nature will find a way to weed out the stupid.


Sir Robert McClain a Michigan man was taken into custody after he attempted to fight off police with medieval weaponry. After a car crash, Sir McClain fled to his home where police found him in his dungeon (read basement) preparing to fend them off. Clad with his metal mesh guard and leather gauntlets McClain made a valiant attempt to duel the police officers. Before the battle McClain let out a fierce challenge and battle cry "I got a thousand years of power, come get some!" After dodging a sword and a mallet the police were able to use wizardry and stun the McClain into submission.


Coming soon to you grocery's freezer isle, breast milk. Prolacta Bioscience, a small company just outside Los Angeles wants to commercialize breast milk. "Human breast milk is really an incredible therapy. Let's try to develop processes where we can preserve every bit of its nutrients and the potent antiviral and all of its diseases fighting properties." said Prolacta chief executive Elena Medo. Right now the company has only plans for two flavors chocolate and vanilla.

Blog quote of the day.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.- Albert Einstein quotes